Friday, December 31, 2010

to sum up, 2010

it's December 31st! and tomorrow is a brand new day, a brand new year, a brand new decade! :)

i didn't go out to celeberate new year. to be honest, i haven't been, for, two years straight. what's the point? sesak sana sini. getting bumped. extremely social, ceh. aaa fireworks are incredibly cool, but what a waste of money kan, hihi. hell yeah i've been countdown-ing at home. what do i care. cuddling back at home, it's a pretty warm feeling, don't you think? :)

*tapi tiba-tiba terasa nak main mercun pop pop! =.=

not much of a climax in 2010. not that i remember, grrr. but true, many things did happened. memories in me i must say. sweeeeeeeeeeettt and sour. :')

changes? yeah, after all, what is life kan kalau tak ada perubahan, ceh. obviously there are a lot of changes in my life, throughtout 2010. :')

i've met a whole lot of new people. amazing people which i know i will never forget in years to come. and i don't intend to, never want to. :"> . and i called them, friends ouh and also for some, so-called friends, friends with benefits. which one are you? define it yourself people. and each, with their own personality. uniqueness, hihi. yet one of a kind. good, bad. aaa you name it. :')

all time love, hihi.
i love her, so what?
oh dia ni, ashkar paling jambu!

p/s: terharu taaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkk? :">
salam 1nuclear! :p

mind them yang berbaju melayu, sibuk! :p
keris mas terus maju! :D

kita tadika-mate rupanya!
hahaha :'p

C1, i miss you guys!
good luck budak-budak pandai!

*ouh ada banyak lagi gambar sebenarnya, tapi thumbdrive hilang pencil case dgn careless-nya tertinggal dekat lecture hall kan, sedih takde copy dah :'(

life, life, life.

and to note that, problem keeps on bundling up. ya banyak jugak dugaan tahun ni. sama macam tahun-tahun sebelumnya. bundle-bundle, from one to another. from zero to, well you can say many. hm i don't know if i can actually name or call it as a 'problem'. but it's building up the pressure in me, for sure. well maybe, that is why i tend to keep myself shut rather than mm, talk? long face and not talking mode. it is just me, you see, i DO need some time of my own. yet again, what is life kalau tak ada masalah. eee bosan bosan hahaha. macam mintak ada masalah pulak. =.=' . so okay mintak maaf kepada mereka sesiapa yang terasa lah okay? :')
A women under stress is not immediately concerned with finding solutions to her problems but rather seeks relief by expressing herself and being understood. -John Gray

*okay apa lagi eh, hm takde apa dah kot, heee

ala-ala lagu penutup 2010, hihi :">

therefore, i hereby,
hny sulaiman,
is, welcoming you, with love,
hello and hi,
2011! :)

p/s : lets make a wish! :)

lots and lots of love,

Monday, December 20, 2010

tip toe

hello semester two! :">


my timetable is ruined. padahal before ni dah check, dah ngam, memang boleh kata comfortable jugak lah, but then tadi bila check balik tengok-tengok ada class yang jadual dia clash. APAKAHHH?! how could you suka hati je nak ubah-ubah! annoying betul. and dah lah for once in my life tak pernah ada class on jumaat petang! no good no good! =.=

DL = 3.7 and above? bukan 3.5 ke? apa punya ukm lah! ke aku je yang baru tau yang DL memang 3.7 and above? noob nyaaaaa! hmmm! :"( . wohohoiii abang jebat (i know you'll be reading this, KOT lah, HAHAHA), i need your support! HAHAHAHA! whatever it is, janji kita still ON! gilaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! i could really need some more of a morale! so please sila tunaikan kata-kata manismu! tolong gua dalam pencarian ini? HEHEHE! :">

i can't imagine what would it be like. starting today, and onwards, i'll have to wake up early, like reallyyy early. most of my classes begins at 8am, 9am. no fun! and no more staying up like veryyyy late at night, i guess :| . but somehow, i'm a bit excited about going to class for this semester. i don't know why. weird. a new spirit maybe? haha i wish. and i hope, at least the spirit in me, it lasts, till the very end. :D

yes buruk.
and my eyebags are getting worst.
macam mana lah nanti ni.
hm :'(

p/s : hoping for a great life ahead, hihi. but i don't wanna put my hopes up high. please don't let me fall. or i'll be bringing you down, later on, hihi. ouh and to that particular abang jebat yang budget tough, ingat JANJI kita oi! serious talk ni! :')

dear God, please be with me, i need you,
with love,

Friday, December 17, 2010

walk away

wishing for you to come to me is a wish that won't ever come true,
i finally give up on loving you.

i don't miss you, but
i missed the person i thought you were.

stupid me, hahah.

it was something i had to do, to get me to get over you,
 sometimes you just have to hold your head up high,
 and say goodbye.

enough of the 'misery',
i'm happy

p/s : i just need to cast my fear away. to fall in love again. i'll have it someday. i know. :)


Wednesday, December 15, 2010

i got soul, but i'm not a soldier :p

webbie! skype yeay skype :)
ini muka terimakasih saya untuk awak, HAHA.

lighting macamni bagus ohhh!
i look FAIR!
p/s : thankyou for making my daysss soldier! hihi ya, awak laaaaahh! HAHAHA! :">

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


Time is, U N S T O P P A B L E.
Extremely precious. But yet, unappreciated, by most.
And it only seems to matter when it is running out, wasted.

Okay randomly now.

What can we say about the statement, 

c o n n e c t i n g


from a song;

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

from a quote;

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear,
too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice,
but for those who love time is eternity.
-Henry Van Dyke

from what i have to say;

Life is too short to wake up with regrets,
so live and love like you've never been hurt.


Why waste your time for those who don't really even care?
You've let me down so many times.

P/s : Don't cry for a person who's left you, the next one may fall for your smile. Nak senyum sokmo lah gitu! Hihi! :')

life is better when you decided not to care,

Monday, December 13, 2010


Past loves
They never got very far
Wall's up, made sure
I guarded my heart
And I promise I wouldn't do this
Till I knew it was right for me

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make ME want to cry


relationships are like glass.
sometimes's it's better to leave them broken,
 rather than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

p/s : two words, thank you. ;)

lesson learnt,

is it, it is

Is it too late for me to change things back to the way it were meant to be?

Is it too late for me to make those funny little confessions about what and how I feel about you?

Is it too late for me to tell you that I still love you and I really want you?



P/s : Is it worth a tear, is it worth an hour, to think of things that are well outworn? The time will NEVER be just right, for you. And "don't wait"? Yeah i won't, no not anymore. :')


Sunday, December 12, 2010

KC! :D

boleh tak boleh tak, can i perasan-ly say that, Kelly Clarkson, is somewhat like, my soul sister? HAHAHAHA i know, perasan. kan! =.='

iyelaaahhhh bukan apa, coz by any chance, most of her songs seems to like, fit in. err, kind of 'know-know'? hahaha macam tau-tau faham-faham je, and ya macam it was written for me, ceh dedicated la konon kan, hahaha. yes i know, perasan, again! =.='

OKAY, BUT SOOO WHAAAAATTTTTT? you got a problem with that? :p

ha ini diaaaaaaaaaaaaa :D

damn i adore her! her beauty, her talent, and of course, her wonderful voice. melting yknow! :) . cantik, menarik, tertarik, dia memang da bomb la okay! \m/

here's a link to her super-cool music video's; Kelly Clarkson rock my world! enjoy! :D

i likeeeeeeeeeee,

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Sanggupkah kalian bercinta?

Tiada apa yang sempurna dalam dunia ini kerana ini hanyalah dunia. :')

buat renungan bersama,

Friday, December 10, 2010

give and take

just now, mum's and dad's friend back when we're in southampton came to visit. they're now lecturers in UKM. a place where i'll be graduating in another three years soon, hihi. amin. first class honour please, hihi. insya'Allah. eee tapi tak suka nya bila excited and nak sangat-sangat dekat that one thing, coz macam dah biasa, mesti punah. hmhm. :'S

back to kawan mak ayah. 

kak dibah tak ingat dia lecturer apa, but as far as i know, abang zul, he's a lecturer in the KEJUT's department. teaching mathematics-subjects which is related to engineering. he encourages me much about the future. telling me to study hard and biasa lah most of the elder people always give, those encouraging words. issues. he said that, studying local and abroad doesn't make any difference. well, technically. even in any other U or apa, semua sama je. ya. you just have to perform well. 3.5 and above, is a must. he said.

OHKAAAAAAAYYY, serendipity.

results are out. but i didn't tell him what's mine. it will be a total shame, if i did. or not. ahhh idk. :'(

ha tapi itulah masalahnya. perform. haihhh. menakutkan bunyinya. kan. what if................ i 'choked' again, like it was back then in foundation year's in UM. negative thoughts here. ahhhh mind that. :'(

back to what i'm saying. perform?

hmm well, i did KINDA blame maths now which i'm learning in malay as an excuse for getting C+, haha. kenapa tak dapat A, maths JE kot. it's easy as one-two-three, haha AS IF. okay sedihnya, i'm feeling devastated. well it's hard. i find it hard to adapt with the new but 'not-so-new' terms we've been 'playing' with. yalah, we've been learning maths in english for- ever since we're in primary school. in school, getting 'high' with those numbers and terms, but yet i can say, fun. but now, i'm a bit culture shocked. here. hmm. it's bugging me yknow. :'(

back to abang zul.

he said that i shouldn't take that as a problem. b'coz at the end of the day, maths will always stay maths. ahhh memang lah. tapi selagi aku tak boleh nak redha, selagi itulah aku rasa aku tak boleh terima. haha eh apa aku cakap ni. ha dah pening. hmmm. =.='

conclusion-nya, mind-set kena betul! :')


and yes, i must believe in that so called 'chances'. with much effort, blessing, prayer, and tawakal. in God's will. in God's will. dear God, please be with me, in each and every step forward.

I BELIEVE I CAN FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~!  *okay ini tak ada kaitan*

much love,

Thursday, December 9, 2010

semester one ; ended, officially

yes, officially! meaning, results dah keluar, gaaaaaaaaaahhhh! :O

situasi satu;

kakak saya dapat 3.9+. what the heck laaahh??! anyways, congrats sis! :')

situasi dua;

and since aku pun dah malas fikir, ready tak ready, okay aku pun check lah result kan, through sms lah. and there, dean list memang tak lah, hukhuk sedih! :'( . damn you Mathsss! i've once 'worship' you kot, gila teruja when it comes to you, gila sayang respect hihi, but now i don't know. these days, you're not being nice with me, WHY? :') . my dearest Maths, please behave okay for the upcoming semester? can you? no, no, can we? pretty please? :') . all in all, Alhamdulillah, i managed to get above 3. tapi ya, hati tetap resah, stress, and i know i'm not proud with it. apa pun, bersyukur itu perlu, nasib tak kena repeat, hihi. Thankyou Allah! :')

foot-note : must. struggle more for next semester though. all the best Hnyyy! everything is possible. and yknow it. okay monolog semata, hihi. extra-extra-extra-effort needed. lets not give up. even life's pretty down right now. hope that i will do waaayyyy better. day by day. week by week. months by months. and year by year. Amin.


life cycles

Yesterday's gone, leaving memories. Tomorrow will be here, giving us hopes.

But now, all we can do is, live for today. Pray, to survive, survive for today.




here are SOME songs that seems like they were written for me, teheeeeeee! :')
perasan tak perasan, hahaha okay layaaaaaaaaaaannn!

The Saturdays _ Issues
Alicia Keys _ Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart
Alicia Keys _ Fallin'
Eminem Ft. Rihanna _ Love The Way You Lie
Auburn _ Don't Give Up
Nelly _ Just A Dream
The Scripts _ The Man Who Can't Be Moved
The Scripts _ Breakeven
LeAnn Rimes _ Life Goes On
Hannah Montana _ One In A Million
Lenka _ Bring Me Down
Taylor Swift _ Breathe
Mariah Carey _ Bye Bye
Keri Hilson _ Knock You Down
Cheryl Cole _ Fight For This Love
Kris Allen _ Before We Come Undone
Vanessa Carlton _ A Thousand Miles
Avril Lavigne _ Fall To Pieces
Avril Lavigne _ Innocence

ni je yang boleh pop-up through my mind, for now, grrr!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

duty, honour and integrity

tiba-tiba terasa nak cakap pasal UPNM, hihi.

mula-mula memang tak teringin langsung nak masuk sana. tak pernah terfikir pun. then ada sekali ayah masuk hospital, roommate ayah macam dia suggests suruh masuk sana tau. so bukak lah balik UPU then tengok nak apply UPNM tak boleh! rupanya dorang amik budak asasi dorang je. kan bagus kalau UM sama macam tuh. so takde lah kita orang nak susah apply for first year degree dah.

then one day, aku dapat call from UPNM, dia offer course Mechanical Engineering. mak ayah semua persuade suruh masuk sana. since ayah dulu Boy kan, so dia kata lah, kawad pumping semua takde hal lah, small matter haha, military sikit je pun. since fikir kalau masuk UNITEN nanti after grad banyak hutang kan. and since life tengah pretty down, tak boleh nak get over with 'the past', akupun accept lah that offer. hoping that life will be packed so that tak payah banyak sangat fikir pasal that one thing which has been disturbing me, ever since.. hmm. and yknow what, sebab nak recover hati yang tengah berduka lara, mak macam faham-faham je, tiba-tiba macam bagi kata semangat haha, kata nanti cari boyfriend cadet tau, HAHAHA. then fikiran mula lah menggatal. hahaha tapi, macam best apa kahwin bawah pedang! hikhik. :'p

registration hall;

sementara tengah tunggu turn, berkenalan la kan dengan budak lain hehe, sedih gila bila tak jumpa sorang pun budak Engineering, apatah lagi Mechanical weh, lagi terasa nak menangis, sumpah! :'( . until i accidently met Nana. kita orang mintak to be housemate. last-last terus dapat roommate kot, haha. what a relieved, ada pun kawan sama course. :)

ini a'a and nana.

orientation week;

group 8! majority group aku batalion Kasturi tak silap, kan?! masa awal semua diam je, lagi-lagi kita orang yang batch 2010, takut kot haha. budak 2009 chill je. bila one or two days nak habis orientation baru semua mula rapat. :) . time makan, dekat Mess Cadet, memang kena sopan disiplin habis lah kan, nak ada bunyi gelak-gelak kuat semua memang haram gila, berani sangat sia-sia nak kena tembak apa haha, and makan pun WAJIB pakai fork and spoon. tapi sudu selalunya habis, so memang kadang-kadang terpaksa makan by guna both garfu la. pity kan saya! ohya, groupmate saya, gentle gila pergi tolong cari sudu, tak suruh pun, sumpah terharu gila dengan korang! sweeeeet kan! :')

Mess Cadet, tempat terbaik untuk USHA, HAHAHA jk! :p

the house;

sepatutnya kita orang dapat lah kan, NDUM bagi apartment luar dekat Bandar Tun Razak sana tak silap, for budak civillian semua. tapi entah kenapa this year dorang letak budak first year kena duduk dalam. and bila dapat tau masa register tuh, macam oh damn, why why and WHY? lagi tak ada life, sebab kena duduk dalam camp. restricted. tak boleh nak keluar masuk macam budak civillian biasa. tapi rumah pegawai yang dorang bagi tuh memang terbaik ah, besar gilaaa ada sofa and perabot bagai, haha jakun gila. unlike most other U's, dapat bilik je kan. so memang bersyukur! :) . plus view malam memang cantik lah! tak payah pergi Bukit Ampang pun tak apa, hihi. tapi ada satu slack! rumah kita orang menghadap kubur cina! how scary is thaaaaaaaattt? hahaha! :B


tak ada sorang pun budak Navy, apa kesss? semua blah pergi dekat course Maritime kot, too bad for us lah! no whites, HAHAHA!



rindu nak masuk class sir surjeet, his jokes, and seeing people kena ketuk and pinch. donkeysss! :'p

rindu nak kena naik tangga sepuluh tingkat pergi class sebab kena make way for lecturers and seniors to use the lift. alasan untuk kurus, hihi!

rindu nak kena kawad pergi class, and usha cadet's kawad, hehehe.

rindu nak kena roll-call tengah malam and being pissed off about it.

rindu nak makan dekat kiosk, usha-ushaaaaaaaaaaa! HAHA!

rindu nak lepak kedai makan sebelah swimming pool tengok abang-abang cadet pakai tights, hahaha!

rindu nak tengok people in uniforms; Army, Air Force and Navy. ahhhh semua lah! gila hot. and their balak atas bahu. cool amat! saluteeeee, hihi.

rindu nak masuk library, one floor bau people in loreng's, and semuanya bersepah, tidur!

rindu nak tengok classmates semua sempoi gila and pandai gilaaa. and TAK sombong. unite gilaaaaa! compared to kehidupan diluar ini menggelabah nak pulau memulau bagai. ilmu Allah untuk dikongsi, tak payah lah kedekut poyo sangat if pandai tau semua pun. ish sedih.

rindu nak tengok senior zulu pegang senapang pagi-pagi.

rindu nak kena jerit marah dengan 'staff' sebab kawad balik C4 main-main gelak-gelak, hahaha! :')

p/s : memang sana tak berapa nak ada life, hehe. but at least people around them, they care for each other. and everything seems over-independent, but saling memerlukan, ahhh tak tahu nk describe macam mana! :') . tak ada gambar kenangan pun! sedihhhh! ouh and btw, happy military training korang!

yang bertindak mengikut arahan, HAHA,


i just need some time A W A Y from the virtual reality world,
so called - social network; facebook.

s s sooooooooooooooooooooo,


Tuesday, December 7, 2010

rock-a-bye baby

seeking, searching for the truth.
revealing, the truth finally, known, ugly.
her heart is now sinking, like a sinking ship.
lost, in the four letter word, L O V E.
heartpain and confusions, strikes.
emotional feelings and mood swings, hits.
all mixed up, unstable.
the pressure, she can't take.
she can no longer hold, tears falling, streaming.
but head and heart, still wondering.
for a new definition of feeling, of what she feels.


there she awaits,

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

what's ahead

20 December 2010.

i'll be dealing with;

Radioactivity and Radiation
Applied Mathematics
Applied Statistics
Electric and Magnetic
Radiation Biology

aku dah lama tinggalkan Bio kot, since habis SPM dulu, but then nanti next semester nak kena confront dengan Bio balik, huh, this sucks. i hate Bio, too many ayat and readings yang kena buat, tak bestnyaaa, plus i often get bad marks for Bio in most of the exam's during school year. but luckily i score well in SPM, hihi old times, :p . but i thought this course i'm taking tak ada kena mengena langsung dengan Bio! how could you! indah khabar dari rupa, hahaha! :'(
hm since i didn't do well for last semester, even result belum keluar lagi, tapi dah dapat bayangan, damn! i'm not even pleased with myself! :'( hm nevermind, what's done, is done kan. so now, i think i should start berjinak-jinak dengan those subjects, even though now i'm on semester break. ceh, poyo, :| . grrr and some of my friends pun dah start berkenalan dengan those subjects pun, :O . as a preparation, i guess so lah kan. so, to all that, jom TRY berjinak dengan buku balik? :'O

p/s : please be nice with me yeee subject-subject semua! lets be good friends, hihi. :')


Saturday, November 27, 2010


Don't pretend you're sorry
I know you're not
You know you got the power
To make me weak inside
Girl you leave me breathless
 But it's okay 'cause
You are my survival
 Now hear me say
I can't imagine life
 Without your love
Even forever don't seem
Like long enough

'Cause everytime I breathe
 I take you in
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it
 You keep me
Drowning in your love
Everytime I try to rise above
 I'm swept away by love
Baby I can't help it
You keep me
 Drowning in your love

Maybe I'm a drifter
 Late at night
'Cause I long for the safety
Of flowing freely
In your arms
I don't need another life line
It's not for me
 'Cause only you can save me
Oh can't you see
I can't imagine life
 Without your love
And even forever don't seem
Like long enough

Go on and pull me under
Cover me with dreams, yeah
Love me mouth to mouth now
 You know I can't resist
'Cause you're the air
That I breathe

drowning, :')

the boy and his bestfriend. :')


Boy : I broke up with her.

His Best Friend : What happened?

Boy : She’s just too much for me.

His Best Friend : What makes you say that? What did she do wrong?

Boy : Well, for one.. She only cared about her appearance. Always had to look good, always took forever to get dressed! So insecure..

His Best Friend : So, you broke her heart because she wanted to keep your eyes locked on her? She wanted you to see that you have the prettiest girl under your sleeve and not think otherwise? I see..

Boy : Oh.. Well.. She’d often call me or text me asking where I am, who I’m with, telling me not to smoke, not to drink. She’s so clingy!

His Best Friend : So, you broke her heart because she cares about your well being? Because she cares about you a lot? And her greatest fear is losing you. I see..

Boy : But.. Uhh.. Well, she’d always cry when I say something slightly mean. She can’t handle anything. She’s a crybaby!

His Best Friend : So, you broke her heart because she has feelings? And because she just wanted to hear you say you love her? I see..

Boy : I.. Well! You know, she’d get jealous easily. I could barely talk to other girls! She’s so annoying! I had to hide it from her so she wouldn’t bitch about it.

His Best Friend : So, you broke her heart because she just wanted you to commit to her? She thought you were faithful, but you lied so she could find out later and hurt even more? She just wanted the guy she loves the most to love only her. I see..

Boy : Well, she..

His Best Friend : You broke up with her because she’s good for you? She just wanted the best for you? She’s broken now because you were selfish. Are you proud?

Boy : I broke her heart.. Because I couldn’t see what was happening.. What happened to me?

His Best Friend : You lost the girl that loved you like no one else could. You see? You didn’t want her when all she ever wanted was you. THAT’S what happened.


Think about it, when she’s too much for you.. She just wants the best for you. Because to her YOU’RE the best. If you don’t like something, talk to her about it. You mean so much to her. Don’t just give up. Don’t just leave because you want the easy way out.


Friday, November 26, 2010

hey soul sister

let's give it a call for;
Syaza Amira, my soul sister. :)

we've been friends ever since during PASUM'S years. boleh kata tak berapa nak lama lah kita orang kenal, but dah kepala sama kamcing, so what to do lah kan. redah jelaaaahhhh! :B
after PASUM, dia dapat UKM, and aku pulak dapat UPNM. so kami terpisah sebentar. then fate has brought us back together, :D . and here, together we stand in UKM, hihi. :) . mengilham harapan, mencipta masa depan! HAHAHA. even kita tak stay in the same kolej, we're still in the same faculty. and so nampak gayanya kita akan grad together lah kan. awwwhhhh, can't wait for that moment! hope by then, we're still there, holding each other's back. forever. insya'Allah. :')

innocent us,
syza and hny.
iloveyou yottt!
kita saling meng-annoy,
tapi aku sayang kau ow!

she understands me well enough.
the slang of my language.
the tone of my stories.
she listens to my dreams.
and knew what it all means.

and yes, we respect each other. :)

foot-note : in joy and in pain, you know i'll always be there for you, kan kan kan? kan Syza kan? :)


the heart :)

first condition;

it's weird when my heart can actually accept the fact that you still love her. hikhik. maybe b'coz i knew it from the start. it's waaaay too impossible for a person like you, to not fall in love before. and for you to like me, DAAAA~!. what the heck with the early confessions, maybe we're both were wrong about our feelings. confusions. and yes, for some reason, i knew it all along that it's just too good to be true. *ditekankan lagi sekali.* yes i've made quite a good move, WISE, i can say, to be on the safe side, yet to avoid disappointment again, i didn't put much hope upon what's in between us. sounds selfish and ego, right. but think again, we both are. undeniable, we've been such a good friend. and you know that. even though we've got nothing in common, i think. accept for that we both were dump by the one we truly love. HA-HA. and it's funny though even though that i liked you, i've once pray for so that her heart will be lighten by Allah so that she can become one of us. :') well what ever makes you happy. anyway, thanks for the approach. thanks for giving me the chance to know you, a bit. and most of all, thanks for the memories yg seciput tu, hihi. :)

mode : happy, comforting :)

second condition;

feelingless and empty on the top. but deep inside, yes. i'm still in love with you. that passionate feeling. insecurely but consistent. hmm what ever it is, or to what's left, i miss you love, like a-lot. i miss those days, pretty much. :'(

mode : stuck, again T_T

third condition;

approaches. hm don't easily walk into a person's life and continue bullshitting with your confessions. it scares me at some point. coz wth. nak tahu satu fakta? love is not as simple as that. okay? ya, saya suka berkawan. :) i'm truthfully sorry, if you've got me wrong. one thing you should know about me, it's hard for me to trust people, especially when it comes to love. trust me, saya memang SUKAR untuk percaya those bullshit lagi. if you really and truly want to be with that someone lah, meh sini gua ajar, first things first, get to know him/ her first. well that's what people say by 'kenal hati budi masing-masing dulu' kan hehe, coz it ain't a puppy-love i'm looking for. nor love, maybe later, but not now. friendship, lets treasure that. hikhik. :B

mode : restriction. don't just simply come and confess. think deeper, before you start confess-ing. :)

foot-note : paint me a rainbow. :)
lots of love,
hny :)

now what :(

what do you want from me
who am i to you

p/s : don't easily come and go, like you always do. it hurts in the inside you know. :'(


j a n j i


A promise is a comfort to a fool.?

why do you have to make a big deal out of it,
when you alone haven't keep your promiseS?
hm but yes, a promise is still a promise.

P/s : but, you've promised, :'(

Saturday, November 13, 2010


just now, i jogged for about, 3km! :')
and yes, sangat sempuuuuuuuuuuut!
padahal, 3km je pun =.='
dgn batuk yg tak baik2 ni, haih!
longgar lutut oh!
and now i feel like taking a loooooooooooooooonggg 'nap'!

Friday, November 12, 2010

suara ku berharap :')

di sini aku masih sendiri
merenungi hari-hari sepi
aku tanpamu, masih tanpamu

bila esok hari datang lagi
ku coba tuk hadapi semua ini
meski tanpamu oooh meski tanpamu

bila aku dapat bintang yang berpijar
mentari yang tenang bersamaku disini
ku dapat tertawa menangis merenung
di tempat ini aku bertahan

suara dengarkanlah aku
apa khabarnya pujaan hatiku
aku di sini menunggunya
masih berharap di dalam hatinya

suara dengarkanlah aku
apakah aku selalu dihatinya
aku di sini menunggunya
masih berharap di dalam hatinya

kalau ku masih tetap disini
ku lewati semua yang terjadi
aku menunggumu
aku menunggumu

suara ku berharap,

tak sihat cikgu!

when will this 'disturbance' will go away?
this cough. this runny nose.
ouh and sneezing juga.
arghhh kacau betul lah!
uhuk uhuk,


p/s : saya dah reti makan ubat pil yaw! no more liquid's and soluble's! hikhik :')


semester one

after a few weeks of exam's, akhirnyaaa, beres sudah! lega lega! :B
five weeks of holiday i tell you, STARTING FROM NOW, right at this moment. ^^v
aku dah boleh goyang perut la wehhh lima minggu ni! HAHAHA. =.='

goodbye semester one, sila jangan datang lagi, hihi :')
*praying that i wouldn't have to repeat any one of the subjects, :'O

ouh ni nak cerita, there's this one friend of mine, coursemate saya lah, tabik spring la gua cakap! dia sangatlaaah berdedikasi, hihi. ha macam ni, :'), that one evening before we've start the Radiation Detection paper, we all pun macam biasa lah, lepak dekat depan lecture hall, last minute study kan, menghargai sisa-sisa and saki-baki masa yg ada gitu haha, then suddenly he said that, even if he'll get a B for RD, he WILL, eh no no, he WANTS to repeat the subject itself. WHAT THEEEEEEE?! menarik kan? cool KOT! haizzz, even saya yg dapat sinaran yg it's unlikely for me to even passed the subject pun dah, entah, i don't know. TAK ADA MOOD SAYA NAK CAKAP! :'((

dah tersasar from track pun kot, to get to be on the dean list. from the beginning lagi. since i've 'choked' in MOST of the paper's. arghhh sedihnya! tak dapat lah saya nak beat kakak saya yg for every semester pun dapat dean list tu, huh so frustrating kan. hancus lebus sedikit dreams on graduating with honour. :'((

foot-note : okay positively now, i must study harder, smarter! must take it wayyy more serious than ever. no more goofing around, like a-lot. hm but how? saya mudah leka and bla bla bla.

i could really need some more of a moral!


Tuesday, November 9, 2010



fights. fights. and fights. yup, it scares me. i don't like seeing people get into fights. those yelling, punching, and ahhh you tell me. it brings out all the nerves in me. meremang boleh tak. =.=' . hm mouth fights? dislikes. and at some point, that's why they say, "words are sharper than the sword". ouh buttt, couple fights are cute. for some. it's when they fight and laterally get themselves 'cuddled up' with words upon solving. those "i'm sorry and i love you" thing lah. HAHA. okay i miss those days. :')


to my beloved sister, it's not their fault. it's our fault. they've been through a lot upon raising us. we can't blame them for spoiling us too much. it's on the way how we think and act about what they've given us. don't you think? i love you mum dad and family. :')


studies. too much of caffeine for these two weeks. blame RD and Nuc. can't wait for this to end though. of course, for semester one. =.=' . caffeine pun, nasib baik saya tak minum pure coffee, dalam neslo sudah, hihi. tu pun dah boleh keep me awake until subuh. and now, my eye-bags are getting worst. damn you caffeine! i hate you. i could really need a goodnight sleep, you know! and taking you too much in me dah buat saya lupa apa yg saya belajar. short-term memory? :'((


i'm losing grip. i don't know how long i can even hold on any longer. it's hard for me, but it's easy enough for you. pathetically, i feel like i'm holding on to a fake and false hope. please, i need a hint. whether to stay and fight on, or to stop believing and move on. :')

foot-note : nothing seems right. this is when the 'down's' of my life strikes through, i think. but i still have that faith, in which where ever life puts me through, i know God, you're with me. and i need you for every breath i'm taking. thank you for always being there. :')


Monday, November 8, 2010

weight, weighing! :'//

nothing worries me much than the fact of my weight is increasing, each and every day. i've been eating, non-stop. and yes, with no exercise. so imagine that people. what a catastrophe!! kannnn! :'O

dan saya punya waktu tidur pun huru-hara! those two killer paper's. oh damn cepatlah habis! tidur lambat pun boleh buat berat badan naik kot! sbb bosan nanti asyik nk makan, or whatsoever.

current weight now, 48. or maybe 50. it's been over the limit. huh! enough of mumbuncit melemak membulat. herghhh! coz this has got to stop. somehow, some way! mesti, harus, perlu, maintain around 43 balik! :'/

since mum dah put away that threadmill thing sbb semak bersarang, no one has been using it pun sejak saya pun dah stop from using it, sigh. well nevermind! now what matter's the most is, i must start exercising from now on. i want a flat tummy! pretty please, :'( . sits up needed! but i don't like doing sits up. PANCIT bagai nak gila sudah! hergh. so okay ayah, please buy me that bicycle exercise thing. yg ada for jogging jugak tu. the one yg kita survey that day. i could really need it. ayah pun, hikhik :'p . sbb guna threadmill penat sgt lah! 15min dah semput, macam mana, even though it's worth it. tapi.. nak yg bicycle tu lah! HIHI. nanti saya cuti five weeks, oh risau saya! :'//

but let's have a look on the bright side. saya dah mula start kurangkn makan, hikhik. nasi sekali je sehari! we'll see how long it lasts. :')

foot-notesomething has crossed my mind! you've once told me that, ladies paling busuk pun, must have a flat tummy. terasa saya! HAHA. :'p . but i have a six pack apa, fikir awak je ke yg ada?! ELEHHH! it's been hiding under my FAT tummy. well unlike your's, mine's, it's shy! =.='

a flat tummy is all i want,

Thursday, November 4, 2010

sunshine through my window, that's what you are, my shining star :'D

you are my sunshine
my only sunshine
you make me happy
when skies are grey
you'll never know, dear
how much i love you
please don't take my sunshine away

foot-note : thanks for brightening up my day. :')


need you

"i never built these wall to keep people out. i built them to see who cares enough to take the time to knock them down." -syazAmira

lost and insecure.
you've found me.

i know its not your fault, but i'm a locked door
anytime i’m a mess by someone before
and i wish that i, i could find a key
to unlock all the things you want us to be

let me open up and start again
there’s a safe around my heart
i don’t know how to let you in
and that’s what keeps us apart
and that’s why i need time
i said i need you
i need you to understand, you, you, you
i need you to understand, you, you, you

call up the locksmith
tell him we need him quick
we’ve got a million keys
none of them seem to fit
while your on the phone
call up the clocksmith
cause i could use some time
even the slightest bit

let me open up and start again
and break this safe around my heart
i don’t know how to let you in
and that’s what keeps us apart
and that’s why i need time
i said i need you
i need you to understand, you, you, you
i need you to understand, you, you, you

i’m thinking now’s the time
maybe it's time to go, if i gave you my heart, be gentle
i’m tired of laying low, lets give the world a show
and when you know, you know
and when you know, you know, you know
and when you know, you know, you know, you know

and that’s why i need time
i said i need you,
i need you to understand, you, you, you
i need you to understand
i need you
i need you, you, you

-travie mccoy : need you-


foot-note : one step closer. hold on, if you feel like letting go. :')

i need you love,