Tuesday, May 31, 2011

hello june

after a while of not updating, i've finally got the mood to, well technically. :D


sekarang tak suka panjang lebar bercerita. malas! let the pictures and words in my tumblr speaks my heart out. :)

now i'm back in malaysia. went to perform umrah with family. yeah, being there was quite a getaway. things are different there, and here in malaysia. and yes, i do feel like moving, to live there. :D
nak cerita pasal umrah nanti lah, panjang sangat! so, laterrrrr! :p

got an interview today, and yes saya kembali berkerjaya, starting tomorrow, until september. even though gaji are much less than before, as long as i can be anywhere but here, i'll accept that. after all, berderet things dalam wish list ni! :')

been feeling kinda lonely for the past one or two weeks. how sad is that? HAHA. and yeah, problems keep on hitting me. and this time, having no one, nobody to spill things out with, haha even though they ARE here with me, well i don't know. apa pun tak boleh lah senang cerita! :(

oh and kepada si boyfriend, sorry banyak buat hal. sabar tau with us, hehe. sorry for everything. and nampak gayanya, i won't be seeing you this weekend lah? sorry. i hope you'll understand. :'( . loveyou, missyou. :')

ok dah, altalavista yo! daaaaaaaa :D


Sunday, May 29, 2011

the end;

the truth is, i'm afraid of losing; afraid of losing you.


Friday, May 6, 2011


to people who called themselves as people. stop judging me by the way i talk, by the way i speak, by the way i spill everything out, or even by the way i act. do you really have to take it all negatively? take ME negatively? oh sure you do, you're people. and that's usually how people always react to other people.

i'm sick and tired of with you people.

what makes you think that your life is perfect enough, right enough, positive enough?

nak nasihat orang pun bukan dengan cara menjatuhkan orang. know what i mean? -.-

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

a picture means a thousand words ;)

let the pictures speaks my heart out.

feel free to click,

Monday, April 25, 2011

semester two

goodbye semester two,
happy holidays!

semoga results nanti pun baik-baik,
cantik-cantik saja, huh.
nak kata takat mana effort semua, memang kalau,
if only i could turn back time?
ok, dah tak guna nk regret and all.
its time to pray for the best, insya'Allah.


Saturday, April 23, 2011

you smile, i smile ;)

Love is missing someone whenever you're apart,
but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.

imissyou, love.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

one more

jjyeaaaahhh, 5 papers done, and one more to go, which is titas, on the 25th. =.=' . so apape pun kita boleh enjoooooooyyyy dulu! ada 5 hari memang confirm2 la aku baca on the 24th tu? eh yeke? :'D

err. overall, memang aku down gila dengan finals this sem. terasa macam nak tikam diri sendiri dekat perut. 

12th april 2011.
anehnya kau buat aku bahagia. radiation biology bhaiii. yes, BIOLOGY. yang aku tak pernah suka ever since dekat sekolah lagi. but then, thank you kau agak membahagiakan aku kali ni. hopefully marks pun cantikkk lah HAHA. dream on hny, dream on. mana tak nya, soalan tak boleh lagi sejiban macam past years? even though on that day aku hampir untuk tak pergi ke exam, sebab i woke up late, like very late. tahniah. =.=' . thanks to aisyah for waking me up. :'D

13th april 2011.
technical mathematics. yup. i thought i was prepared, enough. but. terbukti, memang tak. 20 objective questions, 3 marks each. and yeah. i choked. subjectives, no comment. i could have done better. :(

15th april 2011.
ahhh, even dah ambil dah ada basic programming time dekat pasum dulu, and belajar lagi this subject this sem, aku still tak dapat jawab dengan jayanya jugak? pffftt. yeah, i know, im a pathetic loser. =.=

18th april 2011.
tell me about it. applied statistics. i felt like crying. each questions with 20 marks each, and i can only write one equation which i don't know whether it even exists, or maybe not. hm! i can't think. sumpah aku menyenangkan kerja lecturer! im hoping, for at least dapat lulus memang bersyukur gila. carried marks 29th april ni baru boleh tengok. hopefully there's plenty there. please don't let me down. T_T

19th april 2011.
electric and magnetism. if only i paid more attention on the tutorials and past year's papers, grr. soalan dah hampir sama, haish. and my instinct was right. sendiri spot memang yang itu lah jugak keluar. kenapa lah kau tak percaya dekat instinct sendiri. even sikit pon. =.=

coming soon, 25th april 2011.
lek luuuuuu, titas je. chillex sudahhh, hahaha. ok kau boleh suka sekarang. tapi jangan sampai paper titas pun boleh buat kau nangis pulak nanti. =.='

anote : goodbye DL. kau boleh mimpi jelah hny. or maybe i can say, goodbye 3++. kita tak ada jodoh nampaknya this sem. not anymore. not this time. T_T


Sunday, April 10, 2011

you'll still be my shining star :")

mode : busy and away.

sekarang saya dah nak start final exams, bila dah habis nanti, turn awak pulak start final exams. then dah habis nanti, i won't be around, like for a week ++, plus, you with your military. memang betul agaknya tiga bulan baru kita dapat berjumpa kembali, HAHAHA. kalau lost contact, memang tak tau lah nak cakap apa? :'(

you have my heart, we'll never be worlds apart.
there will be no distance between our love.
you'll still be that one person i think about day and night.
i'll be here forever, missing you. :')

p/s  : sorry for the busy and away mode, i'll squeeze some time for you. :'D


Thursday, April 7, 2011


i didn't know that it's gonna be this tough, this hard. dah sampai tahap rindu yang boleh terasa nak menangis. apakah.. be strong lah hny. focus on your finals now hnyyy, focus. T_T
ahhh bring it on! i know i can, i believe i can! i'll make it through. i just can't stop missing you. :")

mode : ok and kebetulan pulakkk, saya baru lepas habis tengok cerita Army Wives, HAHAHAHA. memang saya lagi teringat dekat awak lah macam ni! :( . nak full episode from season one until the latest episode pleaseee! :'D

p/s : take care tough guy. loveyouuu! :'D


Sunday, April 3, 2011

tiba-tiba mcm cacing kepanasan

tiba-tiba rasa takut dekat feelings sendiri.
tiba-tiba rasa tak sedap hati.
tiba-tiba rasa takut disakiti.
tiba-tiba rasa jauh lagi.
tiba-tiba rasa takut ia akan beralih pergi.
tiba-tiba rasa takut pada yang tak kekal abadi.
semua tiba-tiba lah senang cerita.
mula lah takde mood, huh.

dear unpleasant feelings, please go away.


Friday, April 1, 2011

live for today :)

one year older, and a whole lot wiser. :'D

it's just another one ordinary day. :) . but yet, i'm no longer a TEEN-age girl. sweet-twenty? grr. :B

here's a story to tell,
it's about my past, present, and future maybe?
the truth is, i dislikes my birthday. not even close to the word excited. well it all begins, ever since the year 2009. duh. *flashback*

yknow why?

a guy left me, for another girl a fews day before my birthday. that's whyyy, HAHA. how sad is that huh? :p . idk about you guys, or what you might think/feel if you were in my shoes, but it sure is pathetically sad for me, hihi. memori cinta luka lah KONON. wadehek? =.='

:) . but last night, someone made me smile, widely sehingga ke hujung pipi. :D . thankyou God for presenting a guy name love into my life. two years of being miserable. yeah, what a waste.. if only i could turn back time? duh, memang mission impossible! :') . well honestly, i felt sorry for myself, HAHA. i'd learnt so many things for the past two years. family, friends, love, the whole wide world lah gitu. all in all, about LIFE. it's when you start to ask yousrself, why should i grieve on someone who doesn't even bother to be a part of in your life? just assure yourself to, don't bother back. :)

thank you God, You've made me a whole lot more stronger than ever before. thank you for each breath i'm taking. thank you for the LIFE you've given me itself. :")

always look on the bright side hny. :D
by any chance, it's in God saying that we'll find something better.

thanks to those who came through my way. people always leave. we just have to be brave enough to find a way to get over it. life. :)

and to Naim, thankyousomuch, loveyousomuch.
you're the best.
and dude, i don't want anybody else, but you. 

dear God, mohon kau panjangkan jodoh kami please, hehe. amin. :')


Saturday, March 26, 2011

love poison =.='

oh ohhh ingat lagi, dulu pernah dapat message ni dekat phone, heheh.

cinta bukan macam skateboard. belum main, gilap. dah main, pijak.

cinta bukan macam bola sepak. belum dapat, kejar. dah dapat, tendang.

cinta bukan macam bulu tangkis. belum main, pegang. dah main, pukul.

cinta ibarat macam bola ragbi. belum dapat, rebut. dah dapat, lindung.

cinta umpama jari. lukanya sembuh sendiri, hadirnya kekal dihati.


p/s : awak dah meracuni diri saya ni, HAHAHA. your love is my drug lah konon? helehhh :p


si rugby tegar

oh nama si rugby tegar saya, Naim. hihi :')
thanks for the day, i love you and i always will. :)

riririnduuuuuu lahhh! :D

sorry if i'm not be able to watch you play again tomorrow.
it's not that i don't want to. :'(
grandma's here, and i think i should spend a day with her.
i hope you understand b? :')

oh lagi pulak, takkan lah saya tak nak pergi pulak kannn?
ramai gilaaaaaa la kan jejaka dekat sana?
uncountablesss! *_*
hihi :'p

p/s : i'm always with you. and you're always with me.
head, and heart. keep that in mind ok? :')



I felt like crying. For this one whole week. A week or two dah rasa macam ni. Emotional tak tentu pasal. Idk what or why exactly I felt so.

Minggu ni minggu register subject for next semester, semester tiga yaw! Cepatnyaaa, dah setahun rupanya aku dekat UKM ni. :')

What I can say about draft jadual next semester, hmm I’ll be confronting a more hectic so called life as a student. T_T

These are the subject’s which I’ll be dealing with, =.=

STSN 2012 (2) : Applied Radiation Biology
STSN 2052 (2) : Radiation Chemistry
STSN 2072 (2) : Radiation Chemistry Analysis Lab.
STSN 2092 (2) : Atomic Physics
STSN 2132 (2) : Radiochemistry
STSN 2152 (2) : Radiobiology
STSP 2113 (3) : Modern Physics
STPD 1113 (3) : Micro-comp and IT.
ZZZE 1012 (2) : Academic Communication 1

Altogether, 9 subjects, 20 units?
Aaa, please don't take my life away.

Rasa macam nak tukar course pun ada.
Tapi course apa?
Mana ada yg senang sekarang.

Kira nasib baik takde Maths, kalau tak macam repeat SPM dah rasa. =.=
Tapi baik Maths daripada Bio. :'(
Nak amik subject Wajib Universiti, ZZZT2343 : Isu-isu Kekeluargaan. Hihi tapi dah full :( . Tinggal subject falsafah and sejarah pe jadah, memang tak la kan aku nak amik. =.='

Ok, serabutnya minggu ni! Dgn banyak konfrontasi yg aku macam stuck in between, now semua fikir aku berpihak dkt org itu org ini? Aku tak pihak kat sesiapa ok, tak nampak ke aku pun buat hal aku? :( . Dgn semua blagak nak claim itu ini. Tak boleh ke korang chillex je? Tak payah nak berstandard bagai, tak style lah! =/

Class dah banyak habis tapiii assignments tutorials still banyak, terimakasih lah. HUH.

Sila rajinkan diri anda Hnyyy! :"(


p/s: yeay esok jumpa N! insya'Allah :D . selamat datang ke UKM lah ye, HAHAHA. play well b, i'll be watching you play from afar. seeyou after the game. :')


Monday, March 21, 2011

i found you, something told me to stay T_T

many things did happened lately but i can't quite put them into words. i get pissed off easily nowadays. amazingly, annoyed. aku akan mendiamkan diri, so don't ask kalau aku tak banyak cakap or etc. =.= . the tense is seducing me slow mo. sepoi, bersepoi woihhh. a bunch of tutorials and assignments to be done. but yet, thoroughly you can still see me writing in this post. yes, hny loves to waste her time and regretting about it afterwards. =.='

i'm nearing to the end of second semester. so, finals is just around the corner peeps. my first paper will be on the 12th of april. ok sebenarnya, jumaat ni dah start paper pun, radioactive lab? batch aku memang malang, tak pasal2 lab pun ada final exams? kalau dia buat 30% boleh terima lah jugak KOT, ni tak agak2 60%? what the heck. and what exactly i'm going to write in my answer sheets? essay pulakkkk. damn, i have NOOOO idea. tu lah hny masa lab kau selalu main, report buat kongsi2 dengan kawan, mana tak nya. nak kira activity, interval, yang tolak on how many days from year sekian to sekian pun terkial-kial nak kira. loser betul. =| . oh btw, aku habis exams on the 25th. :")

tapi..................... makin nak exams, makin besar M tu, so howwwww? :'(
please don't be lazy now hnyyyyyy! critical time. T_T

this wednesday will be my presentation day, for titas. bosan. paperworks yang nak kena hantar, bersepah. thanks lah groupmates sebab bagi kerjasama yang semua meletakkan pada ketua? appreciate sangat. i spent more than a day waiting for you guys punya email, but yeah, sorang je yang care to cooperate. the rest, T__T . tapi takpe aku tak sekejam untuk tak letakkan nama korang dalam assignment yang aku bakal buat sorang tu. T___________T

lets recall, syllabus yang dah habis, technical maths done. electric and magnetism done. nextweek dah start study leave. semoga aku jangan lagi kuat tidur dah. T___T

weekend ni ada barbeque for nuclear batch 2010/2011, which will be at sungai gabai. which i'm not going, sebab i've told someone that i'll be watching him play rugby, ukm 10s open. err, but do come with a troops of soldier hawties for me to cuci mata eh b? hihi :'pp

disebabkan aku tak pergi barbeque, so terpaksalah aku pergi dinner KESAN, yang "menggabungkan" kami junior, senior and lecturers. dekat Prescott. tema, Grammy & Oscar, or Casual. tibai jela weh nanti. oh but kali ni no mak datin ok HAHAHA. dah semua budak first year nak pergi barbeque tu nanti siapa je budak batch aku yang pergi dinner kelab? haha memang macam haram takde la kan. nanti lagi lah budak batch kita kena band? apa pulak kata mereka? dah lah kita kau aku sesemua bukan rajin pun datang bila senior buat meeting nak jumpa dengan junior? kena consider-kan jugak kan tu kawan2? atas nasihat mak aku, ya, dia suruh pergi bersosial dengan mereka. eventhough aku nak pergi both, yelah makan kan haha. hopefully dinner april tu nanti, it worth la my 40ringgit punya makan! untuk mengelakkan diri jadi lagi loser, fine aku pergi. T_T

i'm turning 20 pretty soon, huh, but i'm becoming more spoiled than before. tapi mak ayah tak kisah, yela, dia kata anak bongsu, apa boleh buat. as long as they're ok with it, hihi. tapi, so far aku rasa aku takde la menyusahkan dorang? rasanya, not that i know lah, hehehe. yeay i'm still mum's and daddy's little girl! :")

ohhh and, aku tengah kopak gila sekarang. masa untuk berjimat-cermat hnyyy! tolonglah, cepatlah habis sem, aku nak kerja! please bagi aku kerja! aku tak nak melanguk tiga bulan lebih duduk rumah. gemukkkk lagi la aku jawabnyaaaa! T_T

last but not least, iloveyou jebat. missyouuuuuuuuuuuuuuu tau tak!? :'( . seeyou this weekend, insya'Allah. :")

ok habis dah cukup gedik.

till then, goodbye.

bumble bee :)

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

I know that you are something special
To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me

Dear God, the only thing I ask of You
Is to hold him when I'm not around, when I'm much too far away


Saturday, March 19, 2011

this i promise you

there's only ONE you in my heart,
yes you, N.

let's grow old together?

dear God, if he truly is the one written for me,

"Demi cinta Allah yang ku kejar, kuatkan hatiku untuk bertahan, berikan ku kecerdasan akal untuk sentiasa berfikir tentang kuasaMu, hulurkan pertolonganMu di saat-saat aku hampir tewas, sinarkan nur hidayahMu untuk aku terus di jalanMu. Ya Allah! Aku memohon keampunan kepadaMu."

Namun yg menyatukan dua hati manusia yg asing ini adalah Allah.

p/s: you don't have to be romantic, you don't have to be sweet. you don't have to impress me much. well, you just have to be YOU. that is all i'm asking. get it? :')

much love,


Demi Cinta Allah.
Dia ingin berubah. Dia ingin jadi seperti dahulu. Sentiasa mengingati Allah, sentiasa takut akan azab-Nya, sentiasa taat pada perintahn-Nya, dan sentiasa jaga batas pergaulan. Dia yakin dan percaya, perempuan yang dijaga oleh Allah, pasti tidak akan membenarkan mana-mana tangan lelaki menyentuh dirinya.

Namun, takala dia merasakan dirinya cukup bahagia dengan hidayah Allah, Allah menguji dirinya. Allah menghadirkan dirinya dengan seorang lelaki yang menuntut balasan cinta. Dirinya dimewahkan dengan kata-kata pujian, dengan gurindam rindu dan madah-madah cinta yang sebelum ini tidak pernah meneroka hati dan jiwanya.

Dia percaya cinta dari Allah, tapi dia lupa itu bukan caranya. Dia alpa. Hatinya sudah tidak seperti dahulu. Hatinya dilimpahi rasa rindu si jejaka. Rindu si nafsu yang mengwar-warkan kemanisan cinta manusia. Bukan dia tidak sedar dia sudah berubah, bukan juga dia tidak sedar bahawa ketenangan hati yang pernah dianugerahkan oleh Allah semakin menjauhi. Dia menutup kesedaran itu dengan janji dan kata-kata cinta si jejaka.

Dia sudah jauh dari hidayah Allah. Imannya rapuh, syaitan menari-nari tatkala dia membenarkan tangan rakus si jejaka menyentuh dirinya bersama alunan syahdu janji kekasih. Tempat yang sepatutnya dia jaga, didedahkan. Kononnya yakin si jejaka adalah suaminya.

Tidakkah dia takut dengan dosa atau dengan azab Allah?. Ya, dia sedar tetapi separa sedar. Rasa sayangnya pada jejaka itu mulai melebihi segalanya. Namun, syukur pada Allah, Allah masih sayang padanya. Jejaka itu gagal menawan mahkota dirinya. Saat dirinya berutus cinta, dia masih lagi solat, dia tidak lupa tanggungjawabnya. Namun mungkin solatnya masih tidak sempurna lalu robohlah benteng imannya dipukul ombak nafsu cinta manusia.

Allamdullilah. Allah menurunkan hidayah pada dirinya. Di saat jejaka menyepikan diri seketika, dirinya dilanda rasa berdosa. Mengingati kembali dosa-dosa yang dilakukan, mengalir air mata kekesalan. Disaksikan kegelapan malam, dia bangun untuk bersolat taubat. Menangislah dirinya sepuas-puasnya. Dia memohon petunjuk pada Allah, dia ingin kembali, kembali atas cinta. Demi cinta Allah yang tidak pernah berpaling dari hidupnya dia nekad untuk berubah. Namun hatinya sedikit takut akan janji Allah.

"Wanita yang baik adalah untuk lelaki yang baik dan begitu sebaliknya."

Apa yang patut dia lakukan kini. Dia mula merasakan dia bukan dari kalangan wanita yang baik-baik. Tidak layak untuk sesiapa. Dia menutup pintu hatinya seketika dari cinta manusia yang bernafsu yang mengeruhkan kolam keimanannya yang pasang surut. Sehingga ditakdirkan Allah untuk dirinya bertemu dengan seseorang yang mencintainya kerana Allah.

"Demi cinta Allah yang ku kejar, kuatkan hatiku untuk bertahan, berikan ku kecerdasan akal untuk sentiasa berfikir tentang kuasaMu, hulurkan pertolonganMu di saat-saat aku hampir tewas, sinarkan nur hidayahMu untuk aku terus di jalanMu. Ya Allah! Aku memohon keampunan kepadaMu."

-Artikel iluvislam.com-

Sunday, March 13, 2011

we're not the perfect two.

can't you see that i moved on?
cause i do.
and, i can see that you're doing the same thing too.

i'm happy with what i have now.
really, REALLY.
and i know you felt the same way too.
so don't look back.

i beg for you not to come back.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

from the bottom of my heart

it doesn't matter which road or path we take,
what choices or decisions you and i make.
i don't want us to burn in the truth that lies beneath our heart.
no matter what comes in front or in between us,
i will always love you.

as a friend, or maybe more.

a part-time lover, and a full-time bestfriend.
that's what you are.

i can't promise you anything, but i'll try.
we'll get there.

hate that i love you,

imaginary :D

buat awak, lelaki, future husband-ku, hihi. :">
kan best kalau aku dapat chance untuk kahwin, now, sekarang. :D
(err, err tak boleh gatal lagi ke hny? =.=')

i always have that fear that one day,
you're going to find out that i'm not as great as you once thought i was.

are you willing to accept the good and bad sides of me?

well, any man can be a father,
but it takes someone special to be a dad. :)
p/s : awak, nanti kita namakan anak kita sumaiyah tau? :D . semoga kita bahagia sampai syurga. :)
sorry la weh TERgatal pulak HAHA, but i can't help it, lagu sumaiyah tu best sangat sampai boleh buat aku meremang and menitiskan air mata, LALU membuatkan aku terfikir if kahwin dapat baby girl, aku nak namakan dia sumaiyah. ha noktah. :')

akan sampai masanya

ajal maut ditangan Allah. siapa kita nak halang takdirNya kan? hidup dekat dunia ni ada batasnya, ya. kita hanya mampu merancang.

aku insan hina. aku masih lemah. and aku masih cuba memperbaiki kelemahan diri. :'(

macam mana ni, bulan lima dah nak pergi.

cukup dah iman didada? cukup dah amalan bekalan untuk akhirat?

buat apa mintak dipanjangkan umur kalau hidup pun bergelumang dosa.

pernah terfikir?

andai takdir aku pergi dulu,
bila aku mati,

ada ke yang datang solatkan jenazah aku?
ada ke yang mengiringi jenazah aku untuk dikebumikan?
ada ke yang sedekahkan al-fatihah, yasin untuk aku?
ada ke yang menziarahi kubur aku nanti?

andai dah takdir aku pergi dulu,
ku pinta, buat kali terakhirnya,
doakan kesejahteraanku disisiNya,
doakan kesejahteraan keluargaku didunia.

moga rahmat dan hidayah Allah, mengiringiku menemaniku.
didunia, mahupun di akhirat.

dari Dia kita datang, dan kepada Dia kita kembali.


Tuesday, March 8, 2011

tinta ditari, memahat memori

MARCH 5TH, 2011.

partner saya malam itu, :)

lasttttly, tudung dah tunggang-langgang, bye!

makanan dia tu yg penting, for atleast.
bukan pudding dia je yeeeeee, hahaha.

Monday, March 7, 2011

end of february air :)

it's already the end,
end of february air.
yeah, and you really need to hear me out now.

i'm not afraid to let you in,
cause i'm a tough girl now.
i'm not afraid to let you see,
the good and bad sides of me.
i'll be sincere.
this is the life, my life.
and i'm gonna show you,
each and every steps of mine,
it's the truth about me.
when you love someone,
and they break your heart,
don't give up on love,
have faith,
just hold on, hold on,
hold on, hold on.

i'm falling for you,
it's true.
you're the best thing i never knew i needed.

i don't know where and what we will end up to, with,
hold on for a little bit more, will you?


Tuesday, February 15, 2011

study lah woiii

damnittt. i know. i know. i should really be studying right now. esok midsem paper electric kot. tapi dah penat belajar kirchhoff! tak boleh nak complicated lagi ke example loop yg dia bagi? :'0

i haven't had my lunch yet! awak dah? hari ni kakak saya masak nasi ayam! entah apa mimpi dia tiba2 rajin nak masak? :p

kawan saya hana will be engaged soon, in the month of July kot? gila awal kau bertunang ennn. nanti lepas ni kahwin la tuh. tapi dah boleh agak dah pon, masa pasum dulu bercinta bagai nak rak! but results still gempak jugak! ishhh! :"D

tgk org lain nak tunang lah, kahwin lah, buat diri terasa pun nak jugak? HAHAHA! =.='

semalam pillow talk dgn syaza pun ada cerita pasal kahwin! hihi. both of us can't wait to see with whom we'll be end up with! masing2 gatal nohhhh! dua2 excited! HAHAH. siap plan lagi, siapa nak kahwin dulu semua, time umur berapa and all HAHAHA. and kalau rezeki lah kan, kteorang nak kahwin macam beza tak banyak or tak lama. so that macam takde lah terasa sangat if either one of us kahwin dulu kan, hihi. anddd, so that nanti if rezeki dapat baby lebih kurang je birthdayyy hahah, then boleh jadi bestfriend and if of the opposite sexs, biarkan mereka berpacaran! HAHAHA yeah stupid. ridiculous kan? hahaha! merepek and berangan jela kerja kteorang! :B

there's a kursus perkahwinan which will be held, if i'm not mistaken, next week kot? macam nk pergi je! tapi tgh decide, nak pergi dgn future husband keeeeeeeee pergi dgn kawan2! HIHIHI. :p

oh ohhh, and we know that, org yg kteorang nak kahwin with tu macam impossible to get je, HAHAHA! ada lah kan ala2 ciri2 gtu, hihi. takpe, kteorang tgh buat preparation for the unexpected things. like i said before jugak, some dreams are just not meant to be mine. sad kan? but, dah takdir, redha sajaaaaaa! :D . so now, we'll just have to be prepared of what will come in front of us. :)

omg hnyyy, apa2 pun, studyyyyy kasi habis dulu! :D

err errr errr

p/s : hmmm so ok i kinda miss you jebat. dah lama tak cakap dgn awak, dua hari jugak kot HAHA. we're both busy i guess. so mind that. goodluck for masum! and wish me luck for my exams too ok! :)


all or nothing :)




Monday, February 14, 2011


study mode on! weeeeeeee! :D

proudly to say, i didn't even take a nap today! :D

even tidur pukul 300am semalam!

woke up at 500am, SAHUR! bertemankan electric! grrr :B

ready for class, 645am subuh. terlewat sikit even bangun awal, boooo leka lagi. =.='

took a 720am bus! and off to my 800am class! :D

studyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy dalam lecture hall sorang2 sebab sampai awaaaaaal, huh! al-maklumlah kolej saya jauh, tu yg kena gerak awal! huh! =.=

lecture ends at 900am. oh btw, tukar lecturer, dr.chia's punya part dah habis rupanya! :0

then menapak ke libraryyyyyy! :D . until zohor, then mendaki ke bangunan nuclear pulak! lab yg booosaaannn! satu jam tunggu terconggok sebab datang agak lambat (200pm lab tp saya sampai pukul 205pm, =.='), so kena tunggu second trip untuk guna detector. =.=' . oh lab habis awal, around 4pm kot!

5++pm sampai bilik, dgn syaza, then gossipsss until 630pm. cerita semua memang syiokkk! excited pulak hari ni punya topic! :"D

ok then off to cafe, beli makan utk berbuka! hihi. :">

8++pm, an old friend called. ahhhh tak sempat nak call farid, a friend of mine! terlupa! :( . dia punya flight to aussie 7++. macam mana boleh lupaaaaaaaaaaa, ishhh! dah lah tak sempat nak lepak sebelum kau fly! =.='

so ok, and now, i'm back at homeeeeeeee! :D

teman mak makan burger, and cerita2 dgn mak, then now ni depan lappy! :)

it's 1039pm, time to studyyyy hnyyyyyy!

p/s : tak ada motif pun nak tulis post ni, saja je terasa nak cakap2! :D

Dear God, please keep this mood in me. and semoga aku mengingati and memahami apa yg aku belajar. Thankyou. amin. :">


mom and dad, you are the best! :D

i miss being daddy's little girl!
ouh, and mum's too!

anak ayah dah besar en ennn, 20 y/o soon-to-be. :'(
dah lama tak salam mak ayah before tidur, hihi.
aaa, bila nak ngedate dgn mak ayah lagi ni? hehe padahal baru je balik ukm petang tadi. =.='
haaahhh now setiap malam ayah text, tanya dah makan belum, nak balik tak, hahah mentang2 laaahhh ukm ni 15min from rumah! :D
ok sukanya!

ok, goodnight mum and dad, sleep well.
have a nice day tomorrow.
i'll pray for you. :")
ok nak tidur, esok nak bangun pukul5! kena studyyy lah oiii! hopefully bangun lah kan! :'(



Tuesday, February 8, 2011


what happened to my study mode?
where did it go?
where are you?
why aren't you here?

this is not good!
sad, and disappointing.

one word, TENSION!
stress and conflict of emotions are running in me.
adrenaline rush! grrr
feelings of nervousness.

esok midsem paper radiation biology!
macam nak menangisss!

fight on hnyyy, midsem paper tak boleh choke!
i must do well to cover back up my results for semester one!



this is sad,
some dreams are just not meant to be mine.

how i wish, it wasn't left only as a dream, hmmm.

non-stop dreamer,

Friday, February 4, 2011

somebody to love

lemme get this straight.
once and for all.
tak payah lah nak tak puas hati sangat.

kenapa still "sendiri"?
well, for now, being a solo fighter is the best status for me.
kawan biar beribu.
itu boleh kira priority aku jugak lah, for now.

tak percaya?
sila lah percaya.
yes, aku kawan dengan semua orang.
tiada pilih kasih disini, HAHA.
salah ke? =.=
and apa, salah ke kalau tak ada boyfriend?
loser? NO. i don't think so.
i'm way cooler than you,
sebab aku tak takut to be alone.

apa gunanya kawan teman rakan member semua?
we're always there for each other apa.
and yeah, aku mampu tunjuk dekat semua,
aku mampu jalani hari2 aku without a guy name, boyfriend.
sohreeeeeee ayat aku geli. tapi apa boleh buat, geli tapi benar.
bahagia je aku? :')
kenapa, aku ada nampak macam aku ni tak bahagia ke?
standard life lah, ada gelora up's and down's kan?

agak memilih lah?
agak traumatic? cehhhh, HAHAHA. nak kata aku perfect, memang tak lah kan. jauh sekali. bukan lah nak cakap aku ni bagus sangat, tapi tak salah kan aku nak pilih yang terbaik untuk diri aku? weh bukan sekadar boyfriend biasa la gua cari, HAHAHA ok poyo. yup, i want someone who can bimbing aku. yang boleh bahagiakan aku sampai syurga. so, the first and foremost thing i need is, trust. i just need to gain trust much. to fall in love again. :) . biasa lah, semua orang ada "kisah silam" yang buat mereka to be more careful kan? haih, berat jugak kan istilah kepercayaan ni?

ever regret?
kalau boleh patah balik, memang i think i'll choose the other road.
say no to puppy love, HAHA.
who wouldn't, if they know they'll get their heart broken kan?
tapi tak fun lah nanti, tak dapat rasa apa itu, patah hati dalam bercinton?

an ex is called an ex because it is an EXample of who you shouldn't go for again in the future.
well said.
it's not that i hate you. i'm already over you.
life goes on, right?
ya, aku pernah 'mourning', ala2 robek hatiku gitu? hell yeah. =.=
well it's us ladies, whose 'give and forgive'.
guys are always meant to be the 'get and forget' character kan.
i'm thankful enough to meet you.
and, you're the best thing i never knew i needed. no kidding.
yknow why? because if not, i wouldn't have known of my good and bad,
who are willing to accept me at my worst.
yet, he'll be the one who deserves me at my best.

define love.

dictionary cakap;

love is,
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

what is love?
in maths, a problem.
in history, a battle.
in science, a reaction.
in art, a heart.

but to me;

it's a warm feeling.
made up of trust, care and support.
it is my feelings for you, and your feelings on me.
and just so you know,
nothing else matters,
as long as we have each other.
this is sooo for you, future husband! 

so, Mr. Right,
the time will come.

p/s : aku TAK desperate. seriously, don't get me wrong. title memang macam gampang bunyi desperate semacam ennn, hahaha biar ah sekali-sekala nak letak title macam gempak sikit. :p



hny oh hny. i'm all messed up. tomorrow is friday. in fact, today IS friday. assignments, tutorials, reports, studies, everything doesn't seems to work out like what i'm hoping for for this whole week. hmm even before pun. no input. zero. i feel like my brain is not functioning properly. it's not that i'm crazy, grrr i just feel like it is not cooperating with me. :'( . even if i do feel like studying. i guess something is bothering me in the head ah? but, i don't know what. please focus now hny. this is just not the right time for you to "engrossed" your mind with those unimportant things.


Thursday, February 3, 2011

tak cukup wisdom?

title nak comel je ennn, HAHAHA perasan, yes. =.=

ok baru aku tau, gigi aku tak cukup tumbuh lagi? serious lahhh, that day, dating with Mya, and i've told her about yang rabun silau tu, then she said mesti gigi geraham bongsu aku tak tumbuh lagi? err errrr, sebab segala pertumbuhan or yang sewaktu dengannya akan ter-stop after gigi tersebut tumbuh? haishhh, double serious lahhh! ohh myyyyy! :'0

growth ey? so yeahhh, does it mean that i'll still have THAT chance to be errr, tall? HAHAHA dream on hnyyy! :')
(Mya, sampai sekarang aku terngiang berharap nak 'meninggikan' diri! kau lah ni bagi aku kata2 harapan! cehttt =.=')

sampai2 rumah, memang semua yang ada jadi mangsa penelitian gigi aku lah kan, misi mengira jumlah gigi hahaha. nasib baik tak keluar torch light bagai? heheh. nak dekat sepuluh kali jugak kira? doubting, betul ke total gigi for orang dewasa is 32? asal macam banyak kurang? mana gigi aku? =.=

kiranya, aku ni belum cukup dewasa ke apa? HAHAHA =.=

sooooo, bila agaknya wisdom tooth/teeth aku nak tumbuh? :'D

macam cuak je pulak? sakit gilaaaaa sangattt ke sampai kena makan pain killer and all? =.='

last week, hasrat nak pergi jumpa dentist dengan si Syaza Amira terbantut. semua gara2 lab report gua yang tak siap tu, haishhhh. semoga nanti naik cuti ni insya'Allah akan tercapai. weeeeeeeee excited! kalau boleh nak pergi hari ni sekarang jugak! :D . tapi al-maklumlah, kita orang nak pergi yang free punya je, dekat pusat kesihatan ukm, hehe. dasar budak awam yang saving ennn? hahaha sekarang jela pun nak guna kelebihan kad matrix, student lah katakan?! XD


p/s : ha'a kalau tangkap gambar, aku jarang senyum nampak gigi, sebab gigi taring aku runcing and tersangatlah kecilll gila sampai buat gigi depan aku nampak besar macam gigi arnab, hehe tapi comel apa? HAHAHA ok, rahsia dah terbongkar disitu! :'p


Monday, January 31, 2011


people to trust..
well, it's.........
one thing i surely know,
it's not you..
not anymoreee.
thank you.

someone taught me,
if that someone really loves you,
he/she will put some effort to get to you.

apa itu kenal hati budi masing2?
define sendiriii, dah besar.

understand much?
don't come near me.
s e r i o u s l y y y.

bye BLUE kite.
fly freely.. :)

p/s : agak ego kan kan kan? i know. well, there are times. so, i prefer not to talk about it anymore. at least, for now.

the end of nothing,

Sunday, January 30, 2011

astigmatism and me

today i went to see the optometrist! weeeeeee! B-) . yela dah lama excited nak buat glasses baru kan. dah bosan dengan yang lama, plus macam dah kabur? hmm! :'0 . so dah alang2 takde apa nak buat, padahal banyak je, okay mind that, so yes, i went out, dating with pap's, since ayah pun nak keluar pergi beli ikan untuk mok2 kan. =.= . then, after being checked, like what i've expected, spectacles power gua naik. :'( . power silau to be exact. hmmm! :'(( . kalau power yang power biasa tu yang naik lagi la, maunya lama2 buta? huh nasib baik tak naik yang tuh. but still, this is sad! that guy said that mesti aku ni selalu use the computer. yup, you're so trueeeee Mr! :'( . fine, lepas ni tak nak dah selalu guna computer. plus, i will start to eat carrots! but i hate em! hm what to do, carrots are good for your eyes! it's for your own benefits hnyyy! :"( .

i've been told that astigmatism, bahasa tak formal, rabun silau kot? hahah well it is a result of unevenly shaped cornea due to prolonged eye strain. deyyy cacatkah aku? :'0

glasses/contact lenses?

wearing glasses for the rest of my life? :( . and is it true that bad visions can lead to potentially blinding eye diseases later? aaahhhh of course i don't want that to happen to me, please no please. :"((((((((( . so what's the point for me to wear glasses if it doesn't even have the potential to decrease my 'eye powers'? bengong hny, tapi mesti lah by the aid of glasses/lenses mesti lah kau guna sebab at least kau boleh nampak, takde la kau meraba2 ke apa kan, tapi............................. hm cuba kau rabun dulu baru kau rasa oh serious.............. huhhh! aku start pakai glasses since i'm in standard three kot? c o o l? yes! =.='

laser eye surgery?

as far as i know, it is costly. mahal kot, kan? dah nama pun surgery? =.= . nanti dengan side effects lagi? tapi seriously nak TRY hahaha, kalau there's no risk or memang confirm boleh correct my eye visions. yeah! bak sini duit! hahah tapiiii jangan dia ruin lagi dah lah kan. mata kot. :'0

what else?

ohyaaaaa btw, glasses baru ada colour2! dah bukan warna black. :D . but sadly to say, it's not green, nor pink. :( . well, it's...................................... later i'll tell. :'p

i don't want to be blind,