Saturday, November 27, 2010


Don't pretend you're sorry
I know you're not
You know you got the power
To make me weak inside
Girl you leave me breathless
 But it's okay 'cause
You are my survival
 Now hear me say
I can't imagine life
 Without your love
Even forever don't seem
Like long enough

'Cause everytime I breathe
 I take you in
And my heart beats again
Baby I can't help it
 You keep me
Drowning in your love
Everytime I try to rise above
 I'm swept away by love
Baby I can't help it
You keep me
 Drowning in your love

Maybe I'm a drifter
 Late at night
'Cause I long for the safety
Of flowing freely
In your arms
I don't need another life line
It's not for me
 'Cause only you can save me
Oh can't you see
I can't imagine life
 Without your love
And even forever don't seem
Like long enough

Go on and pull me under
Cover me with dreams, yeah
Love me mouth to mouth now
 You know I can't resist
'Cause you're the air
That I breathe

drowning, :')

the boy and his bestfriend. :')


Boy : I broke up with her.

His Best Friend : What happened?

Boy : She’s just too much for me.

His Best Friend : What makes you say that? What did she do wrong?

Boy : Well, for one.. She only cared about her appearance. Always had to look good, always took forever to get dressed! So insecure..

His Best Friend : So, you broke her heart because she wanted to keep your eyes locked on her? She wanted you to see that you have the prettiest girl under your sleeve and not think otherwise? I see..

Boy : Oh.. Well.. She’d often call me or text me asking where I am, who I’m with, telling me not to smoke, not to drink. She’s so clingy!

His Best Friend : So, you broke her heart because she cares about your well being? Because she cares about you a lot? And her greatest fear is losing you. I see..

Boy : But.. Uhh.. Well, she’d always cry when I say something slightly mean. She can’t handle anything. She’s a crybaby!

His Best Friend : So, you broke her heart because she has feelings? And because she just wanted to hear you say you love her? I see..

Boy : I.. Well! You know, she’d get jealous easily. I could barely talk to other girls! She’s so annoying! I had to hide it from her so she wouldn’t bitch about it.

His Best Friend : So, you broke her heart because she just wanted you to commit to her? She thought you were faithful, but you lied so she could find out later and hurt even more? She just wanted the guy she loves the most to love only her. I see..

Boy : Well, she..

His Best Friend : You broke up with her because she’s good for you? She just wanted the best for you? She’s broken now because you were selfish. Are you proud?

Boy : I broke her heart.. Because I couldn’t see what was happening.. What happened to me?

His Best Friend : You lost the girl that loved you like no one else could. You see? You didn’t want her when all she ever wanted was you. THAT’S what happened.


Think about it, when she’s too much for you.. She just wants the best for you. Because to her YOU’RE the best. If you don’t like something, talk to her about it. You mean so much to her. Don’t just give up. Don’t just leave because you want the easy way out.


Friday, November 26, 2010

hey soul sister

let's give it a call for;
Syaza Amira, my soul sister. :)

we've been friends ever since during PASUM'S years. boleh kata tak berapa nak lama lah kita orang kenal, but dah kepala sama kamcing, so what to do lah kan. redah jelaaaahhhh! :B
after PASUM, dia dapat UKM, and aku pulak dapat UPNM. so kami terpisah sebentar. then fate has brought us back together, :D . and here, together we stand in UKM, hihi. :) . mengilham harapan, mencipta masa depan! HAHAHA. even kita tak stay in the same kolej, we're still in the same faculty. and so nampak gayanya kita akan grad together lah kan. awwwhhhh, can't wait for that moment! hope by then, we're still there, holding each other's back. forever. insya'Allah. :')

innocent us,
syza and hny.
iloveyou yottt!
kita saling meng-annoy,
tapi aku sayang kau ow!

she understands me well enough.
the slang of my language.
the tone of my stories.
she listens to my dreams.
and knew what it all means.

and yes, we respect each other. :)

foot-note : in joy and in pain, you know i'll always be there for you, kan kan kan? kan Syza kan? :)


the heart :)

first condition;

it's weird when my heart can actually accept the fact that you still love her. hikhik. maybe b'coz i knew it from the start. it's waaaay too impossible for a person like you, to not fall in love before. and for you to like me, DAAAA~!. what the heck with the early confessions, maybe we're both were wrong about our feelings. confusions. and yes, for some reason, i knew it all along that it's just too good to be true. *ditekankan lagi sekali.* yes i've made quite a good move, WISE, i can say, to be on the safe side, yet to avoid disappointment again, i didn't put much hope upon what's in between us. sounds selfish and ego, right. but think again, we both are. undeniable, we've been such a good friend. and you know that. even though we've got nothing in common, i think. accept for that we both were dump by the one we truly love. HA-HA. and it's funny though even though that i liked you, i've once pray for so that her heart will be lighten by Allah so that she can become one of us. :') well what ever makes you happy. anyway, thanks for the approach. thanks for giving me the chance to know you, a bit. and most of all, thanks for the memories yg seciput tu, hihi. :)

mode : happy, comforting :)

second condition;

feelingless and empty on the top. but deep inside, yes. i'm still in love with you. that passionate feeling. insecurely but consistent. hmm what ever it is, or to what's left, i miss you love, like a-lot. i miss those days, pretty much. :'(

mode : stuck, again T_T

third condition;

approaches. hm don't easily walk into a person's life and continue bullshitting with your confessions. it scares me at some point. coz wth. nak tahu satu fakta? love is not as simple as that. okay? ya, saya suka berkawan. :) i'm truthfully sorry, if you've got me wrong. one thing you should know about me, it's hard for me to trust people, especially when it comes to love. trust me, saya memang SUKAR untuk percaya those bullshit lagi. if you really and truly want to be with that someone lah, meh sini gua ajar, first things first, get to know him/ her first. well that's what people say by 'kenal hati budi masing-masing dulu' kan hehe, coz it ain't a puppy-love i'm looking for. nor love, maybe later, but not now. friendship, lets treasure that. hikhik. :B

mode : restriction. don't just simply come and confess. think deeper, before you start confess-ing. :)

foot-note : paint me a rainbow. :)
lots of love,
hny :)

now what :(

what do you want from me
who am i to you

p/s : don't easily come and go, like you always do. it hurts in the inside you know. :'(


j a n j i


A promise is a comfort to a fool.?

why do you have to make a big deal out of it,
when you alone haven't keep your promiseS?
hm but yes, a promise is still a promise.

P/s : but, you've promised, :'(

Saturday, November 13, 2010


just now, i jogged for about, 3km! :')
and yes, sangat sempuuuuuuuuuuut!
padahal, 3km je pun =.='
dgn batuk yg tak baik2 ni, haih!
longgar lutut oh!
and now i feel like taking a loooooooooooooooonggg 'nap'!

Friday, November 12, 2010

suara ku berharap :')

di sini aku masih sendiri
merenungi hari-hari sepi
aku tanpamu, masih tanpamu

bila esok hari datang lagi
ku coba tuk hadapi semua ini
meski tanpamu oooh meski tanpamu

bila aku dapat bintang yang berpijar
mentari yang tenang bersamaku disini
ku dapat tertawa menangis merenung
di tempat ini aku bertahan

suara dengarkanlah aku
apa khabarnya pujaan hatiku
aku di sini menunggunya
masih berharap di dalam hatinya

suara dengarkanlah aku
apakah aku selalu dihatinya
aku di sini menunggunya
masih berharap di dalam hatinya

kalau ku masih tetap disini
ku lewati semua yang terjadi
aku menunggumu
aku menunggumu

suara ku berharap,

tak sihat cikgu!

when will this 'disturbance' will go away?
this cough. this runny nose.
ouh and sneezing juga.
arghhh kacau betul lah!
uhuk uhuk,


p/s : saya dah reti makan ubat pil yaw! no more liquid's and soluble's! hikhik :')


semester one

after a few weeks of exam's, akhirnyaaa, beres sudah! lega lega! :B
five weeks of holiday i tell you, STARTING FROM NOW, right at this moment. ^^v
aku dah boleh goyang perut la wehhh lima minggu ni! HAHAHA. =.='

goodbye semester one, sila jangan datang lagi, hihi :')
*praying that i wouldn't have to repeat any one of the subjects, :'O

ouh ni nak cerita, there's this one friend of mine, coursemate saya lah, tabik spring la gua cakap! dia sangatlaaah berdedikasi, hihi. ha macam ni, :'), that one evening before we've start the Radiation Detection paper, we all pun macam biasa lah, lepak dekat depan lecture hall, last minute study kan, menghargai sisa-sisa and saki-baki masa yg ada gitu haha, then suddenly he said that, even if he'll get a B for RD, he WILL, eh no no, he WANTS to repeat the subject itself. WHAT THEEEEEEE?! menarik kan? cool KOT! haizzz, even saya yg dapat sinaran yg it's unlikely for me to even passed the subject pun dah, entah, i don't know. TAK ADA MOOD SAYA NAK CAKAP! :'((

dah tersasar from track pun kot, to get to be on the dean list. from the beginning lagi. since i've 'choked' in MOST of the paper's. arghhh sedihnya! tak dapat lah saya nak beat kakak saya yg for every semester pun dapat dean list tu, huh so frustrating kan. hancus lebus sedikit dreams on graduating with honour. :'((

foot-note : okay positively now, i must study harder, smarter! must take it wayyy more serious than ever. no more goofing around, like a-lot. hm but how? saya mudah leka and bla bla bla.

i could really need some more of a moral!


Tuesday, November 9, 2010



fights. fights. and fights. yup, it scares me. i don't like seeing people get into fights. those yelling, punching, and ahhh you tell me. it brings out all the nerves in me. meremang boleh tak. =.=' . hm mouth fights? dislikes. and at some point, that's why they say, "words are sharper than the sword". ouh buttt, couple fights are cute. for some. it's when they fight and laterally get themselves 'cuddled up' with words upon solving. those "i'm sorry and i love you" thing lah. HAHA. okay i miss those days. :')


to my beloved sister, it's not their fault. it's our fault. they've been through a lot upon raising us. we can't blame them for spoiling us too much. it's on the way how we think and act about what they've given us. don't you think? i love you mum dad and family. :')


studies. too much of caffeine for these two weeks. blame RD and Nuc. can't wait for this to end though. of course, for semester one. =.=' . caffeine pun, nasib baik saya tak minum pure coffee, dalam neslo sudah, hihi. tu pun dah boleh keep me awake until subuh. and now, my eye-bags are getting worst. damn you caffeine! i hate you. i could really need a goodnight sleep, you know! and taking you too much in me dah buat saya lupa apa yg saya belajar. short-term memory? :'((


i'm losing grip. i don't know how long i can even hold on any longer. it's hard for me, but it's easy enough for you. pathetically, i feel like i'm holding on to a fake and false hope. please, i need a hint. whether to stay and fight on, or to stop believing and move on. :')

foot-note : nothing seems right. this is when the 'down's' of my life strikes through, i think. but i still have that faith, in which where ever life puts me through, i know God, you're with me. and i need you for every breath i'm taking. thank you for always being there. :')


Monday, November 8, 2010

weight, weighing! :'//

nothing worries me much than the fact of my weight is increasing, each and every day. i've been eating, non-stop. and yes, with no exercise. so imagine that people. what a catastrophe!! kannnn! :'O

dan saya punya waktu tidur pun huru-hara! those two killer paper's. oh damn cepatlah habis! tidur lambat pun boleh buat berat badan naik kot! sbb bosan nanti asyik nk makan, or whatsoever.

current weight now, 48. or maybe 50. it's been over the limit. huh! enough of mumbuncit melemak membulat. herghhh! coz this has got to stop. somehow, some way! mesti, harus, perlu, maintain around 43 balik! :'/

since mum dah put away that threadmill thing sbb semak bersarang, no one has been using it pun sejak saya pun dah stop from using it, sigh. well nevermind! now what matter's the most is, i must start exercising from now on. i want a flat tummy! pretty please, :'( . sits up needed! but i don't like doing sits up. PANCIT bagai nak gila sudah! hergh. so okay ayah, please buy me that bicycle exercise thing. yg ada for jogging jugak tu. the one yg kita survey that day. i could really need it. ayah pun, hikhik :'p . sbb guna threadmill penat sgt lah! 15min dah semput, macam mana, even though it's worth it. tapi.. nak yg bicycle tu lah! HIHI. nanti saya cuti five weeks, oh risau saya! :'//

but let's have a look on the bright side. saya dah mula start kurangkn makan, hikhik. nasi sekali je sehari! we'll see how long it lasts. :')

foot-notesomething has crossed my mind! you've once told me that, ladies paling busuk pun, must have a flat tummy. terasa saya! HAHA. :'p . but i have a six pack apa, fikir awak je ke yg ada?! ELEHHH! it's been hiding under my FAT tummy. well unlike your's, mine's, it's shy! =.='

a flat tummy is all i want,

Thursday, November 4, 2010

sunshine through my window, that's what you are, my shining star :'D

you are my sunshine
my only sunshine
you make me happy
when skies are grey
you'll never know, dear
how much i love you
please don't take my sunshine away

foot-note : thanks for brightening up my day. :')


need you

"i never built these wall to keep people out. i built them to see who cares enough to take the time to knock them down." -syazAmira

lost and insecure.
you've found me.

i know its not your fault, but i'm a locked door
anytime i’m a mess by someone before
and i wish that i, i could find a key
to unlock all the things you want us to be

let me open up and start again
there’s a safe around my heart
i don’t know how to let you in
and that’s what keeps us apart
and that’s why i need time
i said i need you
i need you to understand, you, you, you
i need you to understand, you, you, you

call up the locksmith
tell him we need him quick
we’ve got a million keys
none of them seem to fit
while your on the phone
call up the clocksmith
cause i could use some time
even the slightest bit

let me open up and start again
and break this safe around my heart
i don’t know how to let you in
and that’s what keeps us apart
and that’s why i need time
i said i need you
i need you to understand, you, you, you
i need you to understand, you, you, you

i’m thinking now’s the time
maybe it's time to go, if i gave you my heart, be gentle
i’m tired of laying low, lets give the world a show
and when you know, you know
and when you know, you know, you know
and when you know, you know, you know, you know

and that’s why i need time
i said i need you,
i need you to understand, you, you, you
i need you to understand
i need you
i need you, you, you

-travie mccoy : need you-


foot-note : one step closer. hold on, if you feel like letting go. :')

i need you love,

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

jyeahhh! :D

jyeahhh! after a month or two tak keluar shopping, i mean SHOPPING, outing tu tak payah cakap la kan, tu lain. he, he. then finally today i went out dgn bff tercinta, syaza amira, and indeed she is my soul sister. :') . anyway syaza, if you happened to read this post, aku nak tegaskan, this post is not about you, not a chance haha! so sila tolong jangan perasan, haha. :*. conclusion for today, puas hati coz apa yg saya nak, semua dapat! HAHAHA except for that one bag! menyesal tak beli dekat timesquare terus. konon fikir ada la kan dekat cawangan mid ke apa, sekali pergi hampeh! ouh and that pair of jeans too! :'( .

today started with, first ingat nak berjimat-cermat la kan, HAHAHA. since saya dah broke sengkek kopak kering gila and tak boleh nak 'melaburkan duit' selalu. :'). but then bila pergi ATM machine nak withdraw money, terkejut beruk tengok baki, HAHAHA. and in my mind, ni mesti kes yg ayah deposit that day, confirm! dah lama jugak tak withdraw money, and dah lama tak suruh ayah deposit duit, malu! sebab dah banyak sangat! huh. so ever since, tak tahu menahu pun how much yg ada dalam bank account tu takut nak ambil tahu. whatever it is, saya sayang ayah! thankyou for being such a great dad, :') . not only in giving me money for me to spend, hihi. but for all the things that you've done for me. thankyou ayah! :') . tapi berpada la jugak amount yg saya withdraw-kan tadi, hehe. jalan punya jalan, i bought like two shirts, one kemeja, and a pair of shoes. you see, berpada kan, ha kan dah cakap, saya pandai berjimat sekarang. bukan macam dulu, sekali keluar one whole day habis enam ratun, hik. sumpah terdiam like for a few days. tapi puas hati sebab dapat bag esprit yg saya fall in love with right away tu! ala-ala love at first sight la katakan! HAHAHA. =.=' . but for now, i can say yeay! good job hny coz berjaya in one thing, iaitu berpada-pada dalam berbelanja! hikhik. :'p . now next, im looking forward to go shopping with mum pulak hehe, dah dia yg offer and nak belanja, uhuk so tak kan lah saya nak tolak rezeki, kan? hehehe. thankyou jugak mak! i love you jugak! :')

as for food, saya kenyang gila la kan! selalunya layan pizza hut dgn syaza, kebiasaannya. =.=' . and selalunya kami berdua je dah enam puluh ringgit. ya, tengok perut lah! teruk kan! :'p . tapi today, since dah lama tak makan dekat oldtown, kami pun layan lah oldtown! cuma menu yg kami makan for today lain from usual. selalunya if makan sana, both pun order chicken hor fun, and 7-up float, tapi today syaza je yg makan chicken hor fun, and dia minum honey lemon juice. saya layan nasi lemak ja, and spirulina orange juice. tapi now tiba-tiba mengidam chicken hor fun, ha itulah kau, siapa suruh tak makan tadi! :'(

ohya, today jugak saya terserempak dgn hidayah jubri. dekat mid. dia classmate saya masa dekat pasum dulu. kira bestfriend saya jugak tu, hehe. kita rindu awak jugak! lepas dah habis pasum dah tak meet pun! dia dekat UM tu apadahal kalau kami nak meet. its just that we're both busy. schedule timetable bukan sama pun! so maybe today's a lucky day for both of us, kan! :')

p/s : please, can you buy me that lovely bag and that attractive jeans for me? ill do extra chores, and ill study hardER for my upcoming paper nextweek. tak dapat nanti ni tak khusyuk nak study taw mak, hehe. pretty please? :')))