Friday, December 31, 2010

to sum up, 2010

it's December 31st! and tomorrow is a brand new day, a brand new year, a brand new decade! :)

i didn't go out to celeberate new year. to be honest, i haven't been, for, two years straight. what's the point? sesak sana sini. getting bumped. extremely social, ceh. aaa fireworks are incredibly cool, but what a waste of money kan, hihi. hell yeah i've been countdown-ing at home. what do i care. cuddling back at home, it's a pretty warm feeling, don't you think? :)

*tapi tiba-tiba terasa nak main mercun pop pop! =.=

not much of a climax in 2010. not that i remember, grrr. but true, many things did happened. memories in me i must say. sweeeeeeeeeeettt and sour. :')

changes? yeah, after all, what is life kan kalau tak ada perubahan, ceh. obviously there are a lot of changes in my life, throughtout 2010. :')

i've met a whole lot of new people. amazing people which i know i will never forget in years to come. and i don't intend to, never want to. :"> . and i called them, friends ouh and also for some, so-called friends, friends with benefits. which one are you? define it yourself people. and each, with their own personality. uniqueness, hihi. yet one of a kind. good, bad. aaa you name it. :')

all time love, hihi.
i love her, so what?
oh dia ni, ashkar paling jambu!

p/s: terharu taaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkk? :">
salam 1nuclear! :p

mind them yang berbaju melayu, sibuk! :p
keris mas terus maju! :D

kita tadika-mate rupanya!
hahaha :'p

C1, i miss you guys!
good luck budak-budak pandai!

*ouh ada banyak lagi gambar sebenarnya, tapi thumbdrive hilang pencil case dgn careless-nya tertinggal dekat lecture hall kan, sedih takde copy dah :'(

life, life, life.

and to note that, problem keeps on bundling up. ya banyak jugak dugaan tahun ni. sama macam tahun-tahun sebelumnya. bundle-bundle, from one to another. from zero to, well you can say many. hm i don't know if i can actually name or call it as a 'problem'. but it's building up the pressure in me, for sure. well maybe, that is why i tend to keep myself shut rather than mm, talk? long face and not talking mode. it is just me, you see, i DO need some time of my own. yet again, what is life kalau tak ada masalah. eee bosan bosan hahaha. macam mintak ada masalah pulak. =.=' . so okay mintak maaf kepada mereka sesiapa yang terasa lah okay? :')
A women under stress is not immediately concerned with finding solutions to her problems but rather seeks relief by expressing herself and being understood. -John Gray

*okay apa lagi eh, hm takde apa dah kot, heee

ala-ala lagu penutup 2010, hihi :">

therefore, i hereby,
hny sulaiman,
is, welcoming you, with love,
hello and hi,
2011! :)

p/s : lets make a wish! :)

lots and lots of love,

Monday, December 20, 2010

tip toe

hello semester two! :">


my timetable is ruined. padahal before ni dah check, dah ngam, memang boleh kata comfortable jugak lah, but then tadi bila check balik tengok-tengok ada class yang jadual dia clash. APAKAHHH?! how could you suka hati je nak ubah-ubah! annoying betul. and dah lah for once in my life tak pernah ada class on jumaat petang! no good no good! =.=

DL = 3.7 and above? bukan 3.5 ke? apa punya ukm lah! ke aku je yang baru tau yang DL memang 3.7 and above? noob nyaaaaa! hmmm! :"( . wohohoiii abang jebat (i know you'll be reading this, KOT lah, HAHAHA), i need your support! HAHAHAHA! whatever it is, janji kita still ON! gilaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! i could really need some more of a morale! so please sila tunaikan kata-kata manismu! tolong gua dalam pencarian ini? HEHEHE! :">

i can't imagine what would it be like. starting today, and onwards, i'll have to wake up early, like reallyyy early. most of my classes begins at 8am, 9am. no fun! and no more staying up like veryyyy late at night, i guess :| . but somehow, i'm a bit excited about going to class for this semester. i don't know why. weird. a new spirit maybe? haha i wish. and i hope, at least the spirit in me, it lasts, till the very end. :D

yes buruk.
and my eyebags are getting worst.
macam mana lah nanti ni.
hm :'(

p/s : hoping for a great life ahead, hihi. but i don't wanna put my hopes up high. please don't let me fall. or i'll be bringing you down, later on, hihi. ouh and to that particular abang jebat yang budget tough, ingat JANJI kita oi! serious talk ni! :')

dear God, please be with me, i need you,
with love,

Friday, December 17, 2010

walk away

wishing for you to come to me is a wish that won't ever come true,
i finally give up on loving you.

i don't miss you, but
i missed the person i thought you were.

stupid me, hahah.

it was something i had to do, to get me to get over you,
 sometimes you just have to hold your head up high,
 and say goodbye.

enough of the 'misery',
i'm happy

p/s : i just need to cast my fear away. to fall in love again. i'll have it someday. i know. :)


Wednesday, December 15, 2010

i got soul, but i'm not a soldier :p

webbie! skype yeay skype :)
ini muka terimakasih saya untuk awak, HAHA.

lighting macamni bagus ohhh!
i look FAIR!
p/s : thankyou for making my daysss soldier! hihi ya, awak laaaaahh! HAHAHA! :">

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


Time is, U N S T O P P A B L E.
Extremely precious. But yet, unappreciated, by most.
And it only seems to matter when it is running out, wasted.

Okay randomly now.

What can we say about the statement, 

c o n n e c t i n g


from a song;

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

from a quote;

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear,
too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice,
but for those who love time is eternity.
-Henry Van Dyke

from what i have to say;

Life is too short to wake up with regrets,
so live and love like you've never been hurt.


Why waste your time for those who don't really even care?
You've let me down so many times.

P/s : Don't cry for a person who's left you, the next one may fall for your smile. Nak senyum sokmo lah gitu! Hihi! :')

life is better when you decided not to care,

Monday, December 13, 2010


Past loves
They never got very far
Wall's up, made sure
I guarded my heart
And I promise I wouldn't do this
Till I knew it was right for me

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make ME want to cry


relationships are like glass.
sometimes's it's better to leave them broken,
 rather than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

p/s : two words, thank you. ;)

lesson learnt,

is it, it is

Is it too late for me to change things back to the way it were meant to be?

Is it too late for me to make those funny little confessions about what and how I feel about you?

Is it too late for me to tell you that I still love you and I really want you?



P/s : Is it worth a tear, is it worth an hour, to think of things that are well outworn? The time will NEVER be just right, for you. And "don't wait"? Yeah i won't, no not anymore. :')


Sunday, December 12, 2010

KC! :D

boleh tak boleh tak, can i perasan-ly say that, Kelly Clarkson, is somewhat like, my soul sister? HAHAHAHA i know, perasan. kan! =.='

iyelaaahhhh bukan apa, coz by any chance, most of her songs seems to like, fit in. err, kind of 'know-know'? hahaha macam tau-tau faham-faham je, and ya macam it was written for me, ceh dedicated la konon kan, hahaha. yes i know, perasan, again! =.='

OKAY, BUT SOOO WHAAAAATTTTTT? you got a problem with that? :p

ha ini diaaaaaaaaaaaaa :D

damn i adore her! her beauty, her talent, and of course, her wonderful voice. melting yknow! :) . cantik, menarik, tertarik, dia memang da bomb la okay! \m/

here's a link to her super-cool music video's; Kelly Clarkson rock my world! enjoy! :D

i likeeeeeeeeeee,

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Sanggupkah kalian bercinta?

Tiada apa yang sempurna dalam dunia ini kerana ini hanyalah dunia. :')

buat renungan bersama,

Friday, December 10, 2010

give and take

just now, mum's and dad's friend back when we're in southampton came to visit. they're now lecturers in UKM. a place where i'll be graduating in another three years soon, hihi. amin. first class honour please, hihi. insya'Allah. eee tapi tak suka nya bila excited and nak sangat-sangat dekat that one thing, coz macam dah biasa, mesti punah. hmhm. :'S

back to kawan mak ayah. 

kak dibah tak ingat dia lecturer apa, but as far as i know, abang zul, he's a lecturer in the KEJUT's department. teaching mathematics-subjects which is related to engineering. he encourages me much about the future. telling me to study hard and biasa lah most of the elder people always give, those encouraging words. issues. he said that, studying local and abroad doesn't make any difference. well, technically. even in any other U or apa, semua sama je. ya. you just have to perform well. 3.5 and above, is a must. he said.

OHKAAAAAAAYYY, serendipity.

results are out. but i didn't tell him what's mine. it will be a total shame, if i did. or not. ahhh idk. :'(

ha tapi itulah masalahnya. perform. haihhh. menakutkan bunyinya. kan. what if................ i 'choked' again, like it was back then in foundation year's in UM. negative thoughts here. ahhhh mind that. :'(

back to what i'm saying. perform?

hmm well, i did KINDA blame maths now which i'm learning in malay as an excuse for getting C+, haha. kenapa tak dapat A, maths JE kot. it's easy as one-two-three, haha AS IF. okay sedihnya, i'm feeling devastated. well it's hard. i find it hard to adapt with the new but 'not-so-new' terms we've been 'playing' with. yalah, we've been learning maths in english for- ever since we're in primary school. in school, getting 'high' with those numbers and terms, but yet i can say, fun. but now, i'm a bit culture shocked. here. hmm. it's bugging me yknow. :'(

back to abang zul.

he said that i shouldn't take that as a problem. b'coz at the end of the day, maths will always stay maths. ahhh memang lah. tapi selagi aku tak boleh nak redha, selagi itulah aku rasa aku tak boleh terima. haha eh apa aku cakap ni. ha dah pening. hmmm. =.='

conclusion-nya, mind-set kena betul! :')


and yes, i must believe in that so called 'chances'. with much effort, blessing, prayer, and tawakal. in God's will. in God's will. dear God, please be with me, in each and every step forward.

I BELIEVE I CAN FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY~!  *okay ini tak ada kaitan*

much love,

Thursday, December 9, 2010

semester one ; ended, officially

yes, officially! meaning, results dah keluar, gaaaaaaaaaahhhh! :O

situasi satu;

kakak saya dapat 3.9+. what the heck laaahh??! anyways, congrats sis! :')

situasi dua;

and since aku pun dah malas fikir, ready tak ready, okay aku pun check lah result kan, through sms lah. and there, dean list memang tak lah, hukhuk sedih! :'( . damn you Mathsss! i've once 'worship' you kot, gila teruja when it comes to you, gila sayang respect hihi, but now i don't know. these days, you're not being nice with me, WHY? :') . my dearest Maths, please behave okay for the upcoming semester? can you? no, no, can we? pretty please? :') . all in all, Alhamdulillah, i managed to get above 3. tapi ya, hati tetap resah, stress, and i know i'm not proud with it. apa pun, bersyukur itu perlu, nasib tak kena repeat, hihi. Thankyou Allah! :')

foot-note : must. struggle more for next semester though. all the best Hnyyy! everything is possible. and yknow it. okay monolog semata, hihi. extra-extra-extra-effort needed. lets not give up. even life's pretty down right now. hope that i will do waaayyyy better. day by day. week by week. months by months. and year by year. Amin.


life cycles

Yesterday's gone, leaving memories. Tomorrow will be here, giving us hopes.

But now, all we can do is, live for today. Pray, to survive, survive for today.




here are SOME songs that seems like they were written for me, teheeeeeee! :')
perasan tak perasan, hahaha okay layaaaaaaaaaaannn!

The Saturdays _ Issues
Alicia Keys _ Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart
Alicia Keys _ Fallin'
Eminem Ft. Rihanna _ Love The Way You Lie
Auburn _ Don't Give Up
Nelly _ Just A Dream
The Scripts _ The Man Who Can't Be Moved
The Scripts _ Breakeven
LeAnn Rimes _ Life Goes On
Hannah Montana _ One In A Million
Lenka _ Bring Me Down
Taylor Swift _ Breathe
Mariah Carey _ Bye Bye
Keri Hilson _ Knock You Down
Cheryl Cole _ Fight For This Love
Kris Allen _ Before We Come Undone
Vanessa Carlton _ A Thousand Miles
Avril Lavigne _ Fall To Pieces
Avril Lavigne _ Innocence

ni je yang boleh pop-up through my mind, for now, grrr!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

duty, honour and integrity

tiba-tiba terasa nak cakap pasal UPNM, hihi.

mula-mula memang tak teringin langsung nak masuk sana. tak pernah terfikir pun. then ada sekali ayah masuk hospital, roommate ayah macam dia suggests suruh masuk sana tau. so bukak lah balik UPU then tengok nak apply UPNM tak boleh! rupanya dorang amik budak asasi dorang je. kan bagus kalau UM sama macam tuh. so takde lah kita orang nak susah apply for first year degree dah.

then one day, aku dapat call from UPNM, dia offer course Mechanical Engineering. mak ayah semua persuade suruh masuk sana. since ayah dulu Boy kan, so dia kata lah, kawad pumping semua takde hal lah, small matter haha, military sikit je pun. since fikir kalau masuk UNITEN nanti after grad banyak hutang kan. and since life tengah pretty down, tak boleh nak get over with 'the past', akupun accept lah that offer. hoping that life will be packed so that tak payah banyak sangat fikir pasal that one thing which has been disturbing me, ever since.. hmm. and yknow what, sebab nak recover hati yang tengah berduka lara, mak macam faham-faham je, tiba-tiba macam bagi kata semangat haha, kata nanti cari boyfriend cadet tau, HAHAHA. then fikiran mula lah menggatal. hahaha tapi, macam best apa kahwin bawah pedang! hikhik. :'p

registration hall;

sementara tengah tunggu turn, berkenalan la kan dengan budak lain hehe, sedih gila bila tak jumpa sorang pun budak Engineering, apatah lagi Mechanical weh, lagi terasa nak menangis, sumpah! :'( . until i accidently met Nana. kita orang mintak to be housemate. last-last terus dapat roommate kot, haha. what a relieved, ada pun kawan sama course. :)

ini a'a and nana.

orientation week;

group 8! majority group aku batalion Kasturi tak silap, kan?! masa awal semua diam je, lagi-lagi kita orang yang batch 2010, takut kot haha. budak 2009 chill je. bila one or two days nak habis orientation baru semua mula rapat. :) . time makan, dekat Mess Cadet, memang kena sopan disiplin habis lah kan, nak ada bunyi gelak-gelak kuat semua memang haram gila, berani sangat sia-sia nak kena tembak apa haha, and makan pun WAJIB pakai fork and spoon. tapi sudu selalunya habis, so memang kadang-kadang terpaksa makan by guna both garfu la. pity kan saya! ohya, groupmate saya, gentle gila pergi tolong cari sudu, tak suruh pun, sumpah terharu gila dengan korang! sweeeeet kan! :')

Mess Cadet, tempat terbaik untuk USHA, HAHAHA jk! :p

the house;

sepatutnya kita orang dapat lah kan, NDUM bagi apartment luar dekat Bandar Tun Razak sana tak silap, for budak civillian semua. tapi entah kenapa this year dorang letak budak first year kena duduk dalam. and bila dapat tau masa register tuh, macam oh damn, why why and WHY? lagi tak ada life, sebab kena duduk dalam camp. restricted. tak boleh nak keluar masuk macam budak civillian biasa. tapi rumah pegawai yang dorang bagi tuh memang terbaik ah, besar gilaaa ada sofa and perabot bagai, haha jakun gila. unlike most other U's, dapat bilik je kan. so memang bersyukur! :) . plus view malam memang cantik lah! tak payah pergi Bukit Ampang pun tak apa, hihi. tapi ada satu slack! rumah kita orang menghadap kubur cina! how scary is thaaaaaaaattt? hahaha! :B


tak ada sorang pun budak Navy, apa kesss? semua blah pergi dekat course Maritime kot, too bad for us lah! no whites, HAHAHA!



rindu nak masuk class sir surjeet, his jokes, and seeing people kena ketuk and pinch. donkeysss! :'p

rindu nak kena naik tangga sepuluh tingkat pergi class sebab kena make way for lecturers and seniors to use the lift. alasan untuk kurus, hihi!

rindu nak kena kawad pergi class, and usha cadet's kawad, hehehe.

rindu nak kena roll-call tengah malam and being pissed off about it.

rindu nak makan dekat kiosk, usha-ushaaaaaaaaaaa! HAHA!

rindu nak lepak kedai makan sebelah swimming pool tengok abang-abang cadet pakai tights, hahaha!

rindu nak tengok people in uniforms; Army, Air Force and Navy. ahhhh semua lah! gila hot. and their balak atas bahu. cool amat! saluteeeee, hihi.

rindu nak masuk library, one floor bau people in loreng's, and semuanya bersepah, tidur!

rindu nak tengok classmates semua sempoi gila and pandai gilaaa. and TAK sombong. unite gilaaaaa! compared to kehidupan diluar ini menggelabah nak pulau memulau bagai. ilmu Allah untuk dikongsi, tak payah lah kedekut poyo sangat if pandai tau semua pun. ish sedih.

rindu nak tengok senior zulu pegang senapang pagi-pagi.

rindu nak kena jerit marah dengan 'staff' sebab kawad balik C4 main-main gelak-gelak, hahaha! :')

p/s : memang sana tak berapa nak ada life, hehe. but at least people around them, they care for each other. and everything seems over-independent, but saling memerlukan, ahhh tak tahu nk describe macam mana! :') . tak ada gambar kenangan pun! sedihhhh! ouh and btw, happy military training korang!

yang bertindak mengikut arahan, HAHA,


i just need some time A W A Y from the virtual reality world,
so called - social network; facebook.

s s sooooooooooooooooooooo,


Tuesday, December 7, 2010

rock-a-bye baby

seeking, searching for the truth.
revealing, the truth finally, known, ugly.
her heart is now sinking, like a sinking ship.
lost, in the four letter word, L O V E.
heartpain and confusions, strikes.
emotional feelings and mood swings, hits.
all mixed up, unstable.
the pressure, she can't take.
she can no longer hold, tears falling, streaming.
but head and heart, still wondering.
for a new definition of feeling, of what she feels.


there she awaits,

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

what's ahead

20 December 2010.

i'll be dealing with;

Radioactivity and Radiation
Applied Mathematics
Applied Statistics
Electric and Magnetic
Radiation Biology

aku dah lama tinggalkan Bio kot, since habis SPM dulu, but then nanti next semester nak kena confront dengan Bio balik, huh, this sucks. i hate Bio, too many ayat and readings yang kena buat, tak bestnyaaa, plus i often get bad marks for Bio in most of the exam's during school year. but luckily i score well in SPM, hihi old times, :p . but i thought this course i'm taking tak ada kena mengena langsung dengan Bio! how could you! indah khabar dari rupa, hahaha! :'(
hm since i didn't do well for last semester, even result belum keluar lagi, tapi dah dapat bayangan, damn! i'm not even pleased with myself! :'( hm nevermind, what's done, is done kan. so now, i think i should start berjinak-jinak dengan those subjects, even though now i'm on semester break. ceh, poyo, :| . grrr and some of my friends pun dah start berkenalan dengan those subjects pun, :O . as a preparation, i guess so lah kan. so, to all that, jom TRY berjinak dengan buku balik? :'O

p/s : please be nice with me yeee subject-subject semua! lets be good friends, hihi. :')